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TOPIC: Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful?

Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97573

All I keep reading about is how PA is still not recognized and the number of cases where fathers are unfairly prevented from seeing their children. Have any of you actually got any positive stories? I am feeling so low lately, my children are claiming they do not wish to see me as a result of alienation by their mother. I am hoping that CAFCASS will be able to identify this when carrying out the Section 7 but I am not getting my hopes up. The children are aged 10 and 8 so not sure how seriously they will take it?

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Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97582

  • Yoda
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Hi

Some cases are successful and I would certainly be asking Cafcass to give this serious consideration when completing their report.

Has the court ordered them to explore PA within the S7 or just to get the children's wishes and feelings?

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97584

That is good news! Yes, they have mentioned that PA will be considered when compiling the report as well as the wishes and feelings of the children

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Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97587

If you get a decent CAFCASS worker great...but don't get your hopes up to high!

i have had a good one this time, spotted what was happening, read all previous history and agreed PA being employed but uncertain as to whether it's direct PA or Attachment based PA

e.g. "your father is violent" or "your dad is trying to take you away from me" etc...
or if it is more like
e.g. "oh you enjoyed your time with daddy did you (sad faces made luck upset that child was away from them), oh well we did this exciting thing today while you were with you dad doing nothing exciting" or "you DONThave to go with daddy if YOU DONT want too"

even though these were identified the CAFCASS worker has still said that becasue of the childs age, the childs wishes and feelings of not wanting to see dad should be taken more in to account than the PA!
that's what i am now battling this year!

There is hope...there are plenty out there getting justice for their children....just seems you need to have plenty of money backing you to continue fighting on.

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97588

  • Mojo
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Here's some reading on PA, with case law, which you might find useful in your case.

gov.wales/docs/cafcass/publications/0405...rentalAlienation.pdf

It's a difficult to get the authorities to take this seriously, but hopefully we do have chinks of light. My advice is to read as much about current thinking, RED THE CAFCASS Operating Framework and find case law that backs up your case.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97589

Hi,

Re. PA: I have to unfortunately say NO, they didn't take it seriously. There has been a lot of hype in the press about it but when it came down to it the Cafcass girl (who was probably at a school disco a year or so before) did sit and listen but didn't do anything about it in her report. I even asked her to speak to my step-daughter (who has now seen through her alienating Mother and left) who wanted to confirm to them first hand that PA behaviour was taking place. However, surprise surprise... Cafcass wouldn't speak to her.

I unfortunately think you are up against quite an out-dated system that is institutionally sexist.

On a practical level though, I watched some YouTube videos by an American guy who explained that you just need to give the child free choice (to a degree depending on their age obviously) in what they want to do. The alienator is putting them under a lot of pressure so it's important that you don't. In pretty much all the cases I have read about, the child grows up and realises that they were manipulated in their childhood so there is some long term form of hope.

I would recommend that you keep evidence of what is going on, take written notes of the things your children say and do. If nothing else you can show it to them when they are grown up.

Best of luck.

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Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97592

dad-id What age are your kids?

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Last Edit: by chriseverton.

Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97603

Hi There,

Its hard to say that I had a positive outcome with my situation, as I missed out on 5 years of my son's life, my ex made things so difficult for me to keep seeing my son I went through court and managed to get a good contact order in place but then she turned on my son and after seeing what it was all doing to him I made the decision to stop seeing him.

It was the hardest thing to do but I felt the only way to allow him to be a child and not have to decide whether to upset me or his mum. He wanted to see me but the pressure from his mum was overwhelming him and it wasn't fair.

For 4 years I had no contact with my son or my ex, at 4 years my ex applied to the family court to try and have my PR removed I attended court and she wasn't successful in fact the judge tore strips off her for even trying.

I made contact with my son in May last year as my wife was pregnant and I wanted my son to hear from me about the baby. He was 14 then (15 now) he wanted to see me so we met and talked for hours I didn't bad mouth his mum but I did make sure he knew that I stopped seeing him for his own good and no other reason. His mum had just told him that I didn't want to be in his life any more.

I have been seeing my son ever since at least once a year he met his little brother the day he was born and it was amazing to have both my boys together.

My ex wife took away 5 years of our relationship but we have the rest of our lives to try and make it up.

I hope your case goes well and that you don't lose time with your child but if you do don't ever give up hope.

I wasn't expecting to see my son when I contacted him all I wanted was for him to know that he was getting a baby brother. As he was older he was able to make up his own mind as to what to do and I got to explain what had happened.

Good luck

GTTS

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Parental Alienation - how many of you have been successful? 5 months 3 weeks ago #97619

chriseverton wrote: dad-id What age are your kids?


11

According to the CAFCASS worker when i spoke to her, she said they can take the kids wishes and feelings in to account from 7 or 8 depending on the light of their understanding of things (how mature they are for their age)

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!
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