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TOPIC: Need advice - court enforcement

Need advice - court enforcement 2 months 2 weeks ago #97742

  • swa82
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This is my first post here as i'm going to explain why i'm so frustrated.

My ex partner denied me access to my children for 18 months, between the child maintenance trying to take 120% of my wages... yes, more than i earned thanks to them calculating my figures quite poorly i was unable to take her to court for some time. When it was finally resolved i went alone into court on the day and came out with a child arrangements order first visit. This court order requested that i do the 4 hour commute for a maximum of 4 hours visitation every other weekend for 3 months before staying contact, which i stuck to.

I now have the staying contact but recently one of my children has been becoming more and more distant and the ex has a new partner which about 3 months into being with him was forcing the children to call him dad and me by my first name. Which i made sure came to a stop.

However, jump to now and im having to take her back to court as the order clearly states that no bad mouthing should be done by either parent. After speaking to my child, they have informed me that the mother says nothing but bad things about me, asking what has been said she broke into tears. Now she dosnt want to stay with me. I have informed my ex that she has to come, otherwise its a breach of the order.

I am so frustrated by these tactics and want to know if anyone else has experienced this situation and how heavily they weigh in court. I need my ex to realise that what she is doing is ruining our time together and on top of that, putting through the child through a lot of stress in an attempt to hurt me.

I feel that she is trying to turn the children against me so the contact can stop and cut me out of the picture again like she had done before.

Any advice is greatly appreciated, sorry for the rant. im so frustrated right now :(

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Need advice - court enforcement 2 months 2 weeks ago #97744

The problem you will face is getting the ex to do the right thing and keep the kids calling you dad and not her new guy dad...how to stop that when someone will not comply with court orders is impossible to enforce.

if the court orders wishes and feelings to be done by CAFCASS you could find her behavior get worse...it's called Parental Alienation and unless identified and stopped in early stages it will get out of hand and the kids will start believing what they are told about you.

again, trouble is getting someone to identify it, deal with it and then your ex to comply.

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i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Need advice - court enforcement 2 months 2 weeks ago #97750

  • Mojo
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Hi there

Has she breached the order? Also a word of caution... if you do end up back in court because your child doesn’t want to come, and as part of your case you mention that you questioned your daughter to the point of tears, they may view this in a bad light.

Your child is in the middle of this and feels loyalty to you both, her contact with you should be a happy time and she should feel safe and comfortable, being questioned about what was said and feeling she was getting her Mum into trouble, will have distressed her... I think you need to be careful about your approach.

Bad mouthing by the other parent is very difficult to prove, unless the child willingly and without coercion offers this information, you run the danger of being accused of manipulation... it’s a really fine line.

I absolutely understand why you did this, but going down that route has caused your daughter distress and you’re now in a position where she doesn’t want to come. My advice would be to speak to her gently about it next time you see her, apologise for making her cry and assure her that you won’t ask her questions again, but if she ever wants to tell you anything, you will always listen.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

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