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TOPIC: Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?!

Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?! 6 months 21 hours ago #97868

So here I am after 6 years of separation from my ex. I knew it would happen eventually!

Brief background info...
Separated 6 years ago and had total 50/50 custody with my daughter from the age of 6-10.

She then decided to move and hour away and I could do nothing about it as she has a small child and my solicitor said a judge would not prevent a move in the same county. I spent £2500 trying to get visitation set in place then when my ex called me in tears I STUPIDLY stopped!!!

Fast forward to today....

For the past two years I have had on average 150 nights access with 3 weekends on and one off and 50% of all holidays. This has been with regular threats of her cutting the access I might add.

Last week I refused to give her extra money (I pay £160 a month as an agreement between us set up as a standing order, plus 50% of all school unifor, school trip money, lunch money, hair cuts) so she now has cut my access to every other weekend which will mean 88 nights access a year and she has approached the Child Maintenance people.

How is this all possible in this day and age?!?!

It's blatant spite and for financial gain. Nothing to do with our child's welfare as she wants to come to me but her mum is preventing it.

My daughter is now 12 and I am now going to file to court.

Does anyone know if they will talk to my daughter to ask HER what SHE actually wants? Not just let her mum dictate...??!?!

So devestated by all this...any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

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Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?! 6 months 17 hours ago #97875

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Hi there

We hear this story quite often unfortunately.

Does your ex know that your daughter wants to spend more time with you? Perhaps you could make her aware that if it goes to court you will be asking for the child’s wishes and feelings to be considered and at 12 that’s distinctly possible, with her wishes being taken into account.

You will need to attempt mediation first, but if that fails the mediator will sign off the form to enable you to make an application. I wouldn’t delay as you don’t want the current schedule to set a precedent.

There are no guarantees of success, but if you can show that she cut the contact and went to the CMS, just after you refused her request for more money, you could get it reinstated. You would also make the point that you and your child are very close and she is upset at the reduction, knows her own mind and wants to see you more.

Best of luck
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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?! 5 months 4 weeks ago #97886

Absolutely disgusting and absolutely typical ... it's cash for kids! she should be ashamed and so should the system that allows this to happen!

Once you have your application in and the courts are involved i would go to your MP about it with the evidence to show the cash for kids tactics of these parents! Nothing will get done but worth exposing the way things are towards non-resident parents held to ransome to see your kids!

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?! 5 months 4 weeks ago #97893

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Once/if you have a court case open, the MP won’t be able to get involved, although letting them know how the system lets you down isn’t asking them to do anything... just expressing some truth!

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Visitation cut to boost Payments?!?! 5 months 3 weeks ago #97918

Thanks for your response...

I had my mediation yesterday and they are sending the letter to my daughters 'mum' and of no response within 7 days the c100 will be in the post.

I have a friend who used to work in family law that will help with the forms so that should help.

I have also printed up 54 pages of two years worth of text messages that show many unreasonable exchanges both abusive and financially motivated.

the mediator said cafcas will request to speak to me, my daughter and her mum. This is what I want. Logical thinking (hopefully) people tonser what she is doing to my daughter and my family.

It's now or never

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