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TOPIC: Help Needed Seeing My Son

Help Needed Seeing My Son 4 months 2 hours ago #98441

  • lewis99
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Hi all,

I am new to this forum so I hope I am posting in the correct category.

I need some help regarding some issue's I am having with the mother of my son.

A bit of background:
I have had to deal with so much BS over the last 8 years in regards to seeing my son and many obstacles been out in the way but I always bowed down and never caused an issue. My ex is very bitter and often uses my son as a weapon against me but recently things became too much so i need some help....

Last year my line of work meant I had to work abroad so the once a month contact I had with my son would have to change.
I go away between 5-6 months at a time and then I am back for around a month.
I got back 2 weeks ago and this weekend we had agreed I could have contact with my son. 24 hours before, his mum cancelled and made up some excuse. I requested we have contact this weekend as I go away again in 2 weeks and I am desperate to see him. She said no, she is not changing her plans.

I instantly knew enough was enough and I needed to seek hold/advice and maybe legal advice.

I have stopped her maintenance which is something I have never done nor miss a payment in 8 years. I have said until we can agree to set dates which I can provide then I am not paying her. I know this is probably the wrong thing to do but I need to take drastic action.

What can I do to get help? Do I need to get a solicitors letter drafted up? Are their any websites where I can get a letter drafted up to send to her.

I want to get something put into writing and made official regarding our agreements for access.

Any help would be much appreciated.


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Help Needed Seeing My Son 3 months 4 weeks ago #98443


I assume there is no court order in place?

if you want a proper agreement, that is legally binding, then you should go for a child arrangements order. thats if you have the time and money to hire solicitors/barristers and attend court hearings. this is what i have been going through to get proper contact arrangements with my kids.

there is something known as consent orders, and heard that it can be agreed during mediation, and drawn up by solicitors. I am no expert. perhaps someone more knowledgeable can fill you in.

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Help Needed Seeing My Son 3 months 4 weeks ago #98448

  • Mojo
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Hi there

As you work abroad it’s going to pretty difficult to get a court order, although it may well be that you could be part of the proceedings via Skype or telephone, this is something you would need to talk to your solicitor about, because of your situation it’s advisable that you instruct a solicitor, but it won’t be cheap.

I would suggest that you try and get mediation underway ASAP, try and get a session organised between you both before you go away again. Mediation is a requirement before a court application can be made, so I would ring round and see if any are available at short notice, some solicitors offer this service too.

As far as stopping her maintenance, I don’t think that was a smart move, she can open a claim with the CMS. Contact and maintenance are two separate issues and one shouldn’t impact on the other, it will also put further strain on your parental relationship and you want her to work with you concerning contact.

In my opinion you should make the payment, explain that you were just upset about not seeing him and suggest mediation to try and sort it out. It doesn’t matter if she refuses, you would speak to the mediator anyway and leave it to them to ask her to attend.

Choose a solicitor that specialises in family law, you can discuss your next step, whether that be a solicitor letter first, or straight into mediation.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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