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TOPIC: Some advice on my contact order - I may have to miss a weekend

Some advice on my contact order - I may have to miss a weekend 2 months 2 weeks ago #100520

  • st3sy
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Hoping someone could maybe advise me here. Long story short, there has always been an acrimonious relationship with my ex and my contact with my daughter. I have always managed to maintain contact though and keep it consistent until 2015 there was accusations to the police not about me but a family member which resulted in my having to obtain a court order for contact which entitled me to every other weekend Friday after school to Monday morning school. On top of that there was an agreement through mediation for alternate Christmas eve and new years eve and some time for me to take my daughter on holiday in the summer, although this year we went to Florida in April and that was all fine.

Fast forward, things have been tense again recently as I had raised an issue along with my daughters doctor over medicines not being used etc and that has since been resolved. The stress levels have been biblical for years over it all.

Anyway, current issue seeking advice on - my wife and I are going on holiday in the next couple of months for 2 weeks with her parents and another of family member-in law. In the past 10 years there has been only a few times I have had to swap weekends over for such events and it's been all well in the end since I do the same for my daughters mum if she needs to swap but on this occasion she is unwilling to do so. I am not one to argue but she is looking for an argument over the matter but I just promised I will try and sort something out - which I have and have failed since everyone on my family side is going away on that same weekend - which is incredibly rare and terrible timing!

Problem is,looks like I can't have anyone to look after her that weekend. Where do I stand in not being able to make that weekend. With 2 months notice to my daughters mum, is that sufficient to notify I wont be able to make that weekends contact? How could that affect my court order (Scotland)?

I don't like the thought of having to do it that way and must stress in 10 years I have never missed a weekend in this way. I have also been flexible to a fault on the other side when asked for favours. On the flip side I have had my weekends cancelled with minutes notice on a ton of occasions until I obtained the court order. Obviously that doesn't make it OK and certainly isn't an excuse to do the same and I had dads and know of many people who's NRP act in this manor and don't turn up to pick their kids etc.

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Some advice on my contact order - I may have to miss a weekend 2 months 2 weeks ago #100525

  • actd
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The order states when she has to make your daughter available for contact, it does not order that you have to be there, so she can't force you to attend. I would put it in writing to her that you are unable to attend on that weekend, and you will either miss contact, or are happy to swap a week if she prefers. If it has to go back to court, the copy of your letter shows you are being extremely reasonable and the court won't have any sympathy for her.

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Some advice on my contact order - I may have to miss a weekend 2 months 2 weeks ago #100533

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actd wrote: The order states when she has to make your daughter available for contact, it does not order that you have to be there, so she can't force you to attend. I would put it in writing to her that you are unable to attend on that weekend, and you will either miss contact, or are happy to swap a week if she prefers. If it has to go back to court, the copy of your letter shows you are being extremely reasonable and the court won't have any sympathy for her.


Thanks, I assumed this would be the case. When you say in writing, I assume a message is sufficient as it's still on record? I only correspond via message so there is a record of all convo's.

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