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TOPIC: hi advice here on cao and difficult situation

hi advice here on cao and difficult situation 4 months 1 week ago #100538

I am a mum here. Get better advice here it seems. I left abusive relationship a few months ago. he wasnt physical but getting there but denys it all of course.

My eldest being only 6 doesnt want to see him but he bas no pr over her.

my youngest 2 he does have pr, he took one o my sons from me whilst I was out 2 months ago now.

Police didnt like how he done it but he did.

He was abusive but also it was like a cycle. He put me through hell but sol advised non mole would not work now but we waiting on appeal for legal aid. I told the truth but it seems woman who lie and lie get legal aid. I might not even get it so dont assume genuine Domestic abuse sometimes doesnt get it.

I will have no money for legal stuff but prob get a loan for CAO as I want to see my son.

He is reasonable in emails and texts but also very very coniving. behind closed doors fists come out in front of my eldest but never avtually hits me. at least he ounches the bag and thats if I tell him to stop screaming at the kids and using menancing faces.

He threatens me and is very difficult but of course he is the victim now would u believe. I apparently said he was shit in bed so i abused him. I actually had no issues in that dept but hey he has to say something.

I dont want to be seen as someone who alienates the dad as he has rights even though he calls them sorts of names bear in mind they are toddlers. He also smacks them for no reason other than being toddlers but them hugs them and plays with him like nothing happened. He does the whole swearing at me and calling me names then loves me too. so thats just him. I know he can be loving at times and know kids will want to see their dad. My eldest has seen and heard too much so not so keen.

He keeps mentioning his legal team so i am waiting for that one now.
As he lives 100 miles away and I fled yes taking my kids as I was quite frankly scared of him and is behaviour but now he has my son so will the courts order me back near him ? will he get residency ? and problem my eldest doesnt want to go back and has settled here now. i dont have my own place and I am tight for money and space. he owns his ow house n and dont i know it as he always threatened me telling me to leave and never have access to the kids if I told him to be more gentke with the kids yeah i loved this man and was loyal but dare I have a voice.

I am worried now he will charm his way out of this and maybe I lose my kids.

Advice please from people with family court experience as if I get there whether he takes me or i get my appeal or loan as I never want to give up on my son.

he emailed saying his legal team are advising no contact with me but day before he said he wanted to speak to the kids. I am worried about this

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hi advice here on cao and difficult situation 4 months 3 days ago #100597

Sorry to hear, maybe speaking with a local Women's Aid office would be helpful for you, they would be able to advise you on what you can and can't do.

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i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

hi advice here on cao and difficult situation 4 months 2 days ago #100598


its a tricky situation. other day i read up on things like, what if there is court order in place, and one parent refuses to allow other parent to see child. police can not do anything in that situation (if both parents have PR), unless they believe the child to be in real danger.

has anyone made a court application yet? it seems like this is the only way it will get resolved. family courts/social service do not like children being split apart and just snatched away from each other. application costs £215. as other person mentioned, please contact womens aid and they can advise you on best course of action.


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