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TOPIC: FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen??

FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen?? 1 week 2 days ago #100545

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:boohoo:
Hello everyone, I hope someone can help!

I'm logged on for my partner.
Okay so a quick breakdown of what's been going on - he has a (nearly) 2 year old son who his ex is refusing to let him see - various reasons as usual, "I don't trust you", "I need to know who you're with" etc. changing times and dates for no reason, just point blank refusal. He's only seen his son 3 times in 2019 despite asking frequently. She's very abusive to him and he's been saving all of the messages. He asked her to attend mediation and she refused. He applied for a contact order through the court and attended the first FHDRA on Tuesday (6th Aug). He has concerns she's abusing drugs and has some welfare concerns, there was domestic abuse from her when they were together too, so a C1A was completed. He was convicted of drug dealing 5 years ago, and has been trouble free ever since and not touched drugs for 5 years.

It went just about as bad as it possibly could have! Firstly, the mother was AN HOUR LATE (and absolutely nothing was done about it), and she hadn't responded to any of the paperwork sent by the court. They completely dismissed any of his concerns about her drug use, welfare or domestic abuse - literally said it was "here-say" despite the fact he has evidence! He had no opportunity to talk at all, kept being interrupted by the Cafcass Officer. She then cried a lot (surprise surprise) and said he was a terrible parent, the judge then said that he can't see his son until he's attended a parenting course and until Cafcass have done a safeguarding check - (the safeguarding was raised on HER not on HIM so why should this affect his contact?). He had some proposed contact written down and they wouldn't even read it. The Cafcass Officer was overly responsive to the mother and sided with her completely - he was against my partner from the start, focused solely on the drug charges from 5 years ago despite the fact he's a completely different person and the charges are spent.

So I was just wondering if anyone had the same experience?
- Been denied contact for no reason, courts don't seem to care! Didn't even ask why she isn't letting him see his son, just agreed with the mother until a parenting course and safeguarding check on the child is done
- Has to wait another MONTH for the second hearing, no contact in between - interim contact order denied instantly for no reason?
- His concerns have been dismissed straight away despite the fact he has evidence

My partner is completely devastated and feels like he's never going to be allowed contact. I don't know what more he can do, all he wants is regular access to his son but it seems like an impossible task at the moment :(

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FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen?? 1 week 2 days ago #100553

hi,

that sounds terribly biased towards the mother. i think a big factor that plays a part is how often the dad was seeing the child before this ended up in court. for me i was seeing kids every saturday for couple of months. so court had no reason to say i can not have contact.

i am guessung cafcass will do section 7 report, and this will be ready in time for 2nd hearing. usually anyone that has convictions can expect a hard time in court.

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FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen?? 1 week 1 day ago #100559

Yes it will happen. He needs to do everything that is being asked of him, and keep moving forward. It's a frustrating experience, just accept it and keep moving forward. Think of the long term. One day he will be celebrating his child anniversary and that cafcass officer will be a long distant memory, but for now he is at their mercy as far as having a relationship with the child is concerned, so just accept it and keep moving forward.

Best of luck.

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FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen?? 1 week 1 day ago #100561

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Bill337 wrote: hi,

that sounds terribly biased towards the mother. i think a big factor that plays a part is how often the dad was seeing the child before this ended up in court. for me i was seeing kids every saturday for couple of months. so court had no reason to say i can not have contact.

i am guessung cafcass will do section 7 report, and this will be ready in time for 2nd hearing. usually anyone that has convictions can expect a hard time in court.


Hello,

It was really biased. He was seeing him 5 days a week around a year or so ago, but she stopped that contact when he was made redundant (he got another full time job days later). I suppose we understand why the parenting classes have been advised, but I still don't see why contact has been refused until then. Seems very over dramatic, especially when you consider that the mother is abusing substances and has had social services involved 3 times...
Hopefully when the report is done it shows that he's not a safeguarding concern at all and contact can be arranged.

Thanks for your response :)

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FHDRA Went Terribly, Will Contact Ever Happen?? 1 week 1 day ago #100562

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superprouddad wrote: Yes it will happen. He needs to do everything that is being asked of him, and keep moving forward. It's a frustrating experience, just accept it and keep moving forward. Think of the long term. One day he will be celebrating his child anniversary and that cafcass officer will be a long distant memory, but for now he is at their mercy as far as having a relationship with the child is concerned, so just accept it and keep moving forward.

Best of luck.


Hello,
Thank you for your kind words. It just seems so unfair and biased, and I wish we could do something about it! I think that's the bit that hurts the most really because he's not done anything wrong and deserves contact, but the mother gets all the help.
We will absolutely keep the long term in mind, thank you again.

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