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TOPIC: Help!

Help! 2 weeks 1 day ago #102638

Hey there,

I wonder if somebody could possibly help or shed light on a situation I/we (my children and I,) have found ourselves in.

I was married just over 10 years ago and separated from my then wife. We had 2 children and are very good at co-parenting our two children and talks as friends who support each other with the children. That's it.

I started to see a girl and everything was fine and good, the ex got a new chap who was a really good fella with the children.

The woman i was with started to show signs of being very horrible, aggressive and displayed a bi-polar nature....Awful text messages with mean personal things being said, locking me out and general horribleness...all passed off as speaking the truth. The biggest factor she wouldn't let my children near the house outside of their designated days, or see them on their birthdays or at Christmas unless she could come etc, which isn't acceptable when all she did was call their mother really terrible names. She threw some school lunch sandwiches at them once saying because your lazy B' of a mother wont do it. It was my night to do it which I would have.

We are not together now and we have a child who is now a few years old. Towards the end of the relationship, the one i just broke up with was extremely horrible. Locking me out not letting me in for work clothes or belongings, pushing her fist on my face calling me derogatory names. She knew i wouldn't react.

I am buying her out of the house with no qualms and I have paid every penny.

She the called the childrens mum a S**g to their faces. They children said she was mean and just went home that evening, upset.

Numerous other things happened which resulted in her being marked on police register for harassment, not of me but the childrens mum.

I have 1000+ abusive messages printed and 2 voice recordings (she is unaware) saying she did say awful things and so what. Also singing to my new child that she wishes I was dead, when i hand on heart only ever did my best.

My point is, she wont let the young child see the older two because they text me saying she was horrible and like satan etc as any child would if someone wouldnt let you see them, called their mum horrid things and didnt want them downstairs most of the time..She looked at my messages through the iPad and took a screen shot. Which is fine.

This was over a year ago and she still says its not going to happen with the children seeing each other. The older two are heartbroken. She even took all the pictures down of me and the other children when I moved out for the first few months so she could decide what to do about the house.

Can she legally stop children seeing each other based on her opinions? If so, I have so much evidence of proof of the way she is and why the children didn't like her. She is so hard to communicate with and is so aggressive. I just want to make sure I am right and let the children all see each other as it is now having an affect on school work.

Thank you so much everyone who helps. I genuinely really do appreciate any legal advice.

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Help! 2 weeks 1 day ago #102645

hi,

my ex has been blocking me lately from seeing baby daughter. gave her deadline to agree/respond so i can go back to court. children are only blocked from seeing other kids or adults if there is genuine risk of harm to them. shes just being a clown. if it is so bad then you should look at taking the legal route.

first you should send her a polite letter, about how her behaviour is emotionally damaging the kids. you know the situation a lot better. i would give her 7 days to respond. mention you may have to take the legal route if her position does not change. soon as i sent my ex a letter, she said she is ignoring it lol. now the deadline is approaching and she has started to engage her brain a little more. maybe possible to avoid court...

have you contacted social services about this?
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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Help! 2 weeks 1 day ago #102651

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I can't think I've ever heard of a case like yours (and I've been on here for over 9 years now), that is absolutely appalling behaviour by your partner (at the time) to your kids, and based on that, I'm not surprised at all at her behaviour now. I think you need to go down the legal route (matters may get worse when you do, though it's hard to see how much worse they could get) which will need you to start with mediation.

As Bill says, the courts won't stop your children seeing their step-siblings unless there is a safeguarding issue, which is obviously not the case, and in fact courts prefer that they do have contact.
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Help! 2 weeks 1 day ago #102654

Hi Bill,

I have always kept away from things like that as believe it or not I don't want to cause her trouble. She knows i am a soft touch and to be fair the torrent of abuse that follows every slight thing is hard to deal with.
I am a big fella of sound mind and I am just a little soft with it all if I am honest.

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Help! 2 weeks 1 day ago #102656

Thank you to the PINK Elephant! Yeah, she is really bad. She is very manipulative. She even got legal aid by saying i was controlling. If you saw the messages and heard the recordings you would be shocked. All I ever wanted was to see my children and they even felt they couldn't come over. I was in the garden once and one of my children came as a surprise, i was rushing them off because the ex came to the door and said "What are they doing here, its not their day"
Moral of the story is I need a spine for Christmas, take a deep breath and send her a letter.

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Help! 2 weeks 2 hours ago #102680

Submariner wrote: Thank you to the PINK Elephant! Yeah, she is really bad. She is very manipulative. She even got legal aid by saying i was controlling. If you saw the messages and heard the recordings you would be shocked. All I ever wanted was to see my children and they even felt they couldn't come over. I was in the garden once and one of my children came as a surprise, i was rushing them off because the ex came to the door and said "What are they doing here, its not their day"
Moral of the story is I need a spine for Christmas, take a deep breath and send her a letter.


yes send her a letter you have written yourself. solicitor would charge you £50 to send letter, and she will most likely ignore it anyway. also i forgot to mention, that someone reported my ex for legal aid fraud, and her legal aids been taken away :p legal aid is not just assessed on abuse claims, but income/savings as well. if she has lot of savings, then she may have fraudulently obtained legal aid.
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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Help! 1 week 6 days ago #102689

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Quick add to Bill's comment - anything you send by post, send recorded/signed for so you have proof she got it - or refused it.
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Help! 1 week 6 days ago #102697

yes good point. i have been sending pdf letters through whatsapp. easy to keep records like that. back stuff up in email account or google drive etc.
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