My ex has taking at a non molestation order out on me ( just full of lies ) we have a 18 month son together she has now moved back to her parents house , we also have a first hearing dispute resolution child arrangement order early next year , I'm still having access to my son but its supervised threw her parents ,
I am going to represent myself at an upcoming non- molestation hearing, that I will not contest but will ask for an undertaking
In a respondent statement how is best to refer to your ex ie
The applicant ?
Ex Partner ?
Her name ?
Any advice regarding what to say in statement, and what not to say.
Any general advise
Hi I just referred to my ex as Miss *** , or the respondent or the mother only as repeating the same word just didn’t sound right for me . I’d just concentrate on responding point by point to the ex’s allegations and refer to any evidence you have to back up that they are false . Anything can be used , Texts , emails , even a ticket that you can show you booked for something out of town rather than you being at the exes door etc etc
Feel contesting it will it get me anywhere? Is it worth it?
I have contact with her mum so at moment I'm having supervised contact with my son and her mum being present , also the ex turns up and drops him off at the location ,( I'm ment to be this big danger and she's scared of me )
Worry if I fight the non molestation it they will cut contact , that's why thought undertaking might be better ?
We have are First hearing dispute resolution FHDRA early next year she's asking for sole custody and supervised access
am no expert on non-mol's but i read other cases where dads said they contested it and it made things much worse and difficult, and they were prevented from seeing their kids for a longer period.
What is challenging the order actually going to achieve? Many respondents feel aggrieved when they see that a person (typically an ex-partner) has sought to take out a court order against them on the basis of what they say are vicious lies. With that, many people opt to fight against an order simply because they do not want the applicant to ‘win’, or for their own name to be blackened. However, a respondent should always consider what challenging the order is actually going to gain. If a person opposes the order and succeeds in proving the applicant wrong, it isn’t like you see on the television and everyone is suddenly aware that the ex-partner has now been branded a liar, with the respondent being able to hold their head up high. What it does do is create further animosity between the parties (which can be particularly unhelpful if there are children involved), as well as adding pressures of both time and money. Instead, a respondent can either not oppose the order or agree to undertakings (which is a promise to the court not to do things) on the basis that they do not accept the allegations that have been made against them – this avoids the need for a contest, shows the court you are not simply in it to prove the applicant a liar, and inevitably is only preventing a person from what they should not be doing anyway (i.e. assaulting the applicant).
Morning guys. Ive also been hit with a non molestation order against me by my wife. This was back in July. I didn't contest it, but my Barrister did as she knows its all lies against me. It has caused a lot more fire from her, more allegations and in it all I've not been allowed to see my 4 children in 6 months. It's horrible and nasty. I've now seen another side to my wife I've never seen in all the 14 years we were married. I'm back in court 15 January, then a 3 day fact finding hearing end of January. I'm not sure how, or if I will make it, but I'm trying my hardest..
Maybe the court or your ex won’t accept and undertaking ? Then you’re in a pickle . From my own experience things only get worse not better so you’ll end up in court anyway . Likely your ex will restrict things with your kids even more but it’s what they do . I look at it’ like a year being dragged though courts for an order that makes the next 10 years better for me and my kids is worth the ball ache . If it’s lies contest all
I agree with the information that Bill posted, in that instead of opposing it, try to go for undertakings on the basis that you don't agree with the accusations, but your happy to act in a reasonable manner (because that's how you have already been behaving).
I only have contact with her mum , and she organises the supervised access ( its been at children indoor play areas )
I have no contact with my ex since she left month ago , but in her statement for the non molestation she claims 2 weeks ago i made some bad allegations by message and she reported it to police and they recommended she take out a non molestation , complete rubbish as ive not had no contact with her
just don't want them to cut contact just really need to be careful how i go about this? what if they don't agree toa under taking ? what if i accept the order will that affect my case next year at the FHDRA ? she wants sole custody and me to have supervised access going on the grounds of domestic abuse , ( i was like single dad to my son she was always at work ) what i want is to have him every other weekend ( hopefully that gets agreed next year ?)
whats the best way to show the court I'm trust worthy?
This is the issue you are going to face. If she refuses an under taking, you will have to contest it or accept the non mol. You can choose to accept it on a no admissions basis too. This means the non mol will be put in place but with no facts or findings made against you.
If she is making things up and you can prove it, for example, the messages she said you sent her. Then you should contest it. Prove her allegations wrong.
You will have to go through the courts to get access, but based on her allegations, you will have cafcass involved who will do full back ground checks etc. You will then have to convince them you are not the monster your ex is making you out to be