TOPIC: Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help!

Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 2 weeks ago #105882

Schools are closed. He already has child in his care. He could phone social services and say he has serious concerns and say he is keeping child in his care and his ex can put a court application in. Social services will end up putting child on child in need plan or worse if child stays in mums care due to her issues and her partner ringing them up

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Last Edit: by warwickshire1.

Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 2 weeks ago #105883

I have thought about this too, however SS have told me that assessment will very likely rule no further involvement from them. Which i find absurd but not surprising given how they handled the whole thing. Took them 6!days to visit mum in her home after the initial phone call from her partner. Now he has redacted they do not seem interested in even finding out if he is lying or not.

I was hoping to get the court involved before SS finish their report, also it’s very upsetting for my child as mum rings 2-3 times a day and makes him very upset by pulling on heart strings and saying she’ll be back with her ASAP. Really I want an order as quickly as possible.

Facilitating contact is the next issue as I’m worried she will just take off with her. And keep her. SS refused my request for supervised contact but heavily advised that I do allow contact as they see no immediate concerns with mum.

You are right about school though, seems as though the lockdown has worked slightly in my favour in this instance.

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105884

How many days have you had your daughter since she was meant to return to mums house?

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105885

Would usually return her on Monday.

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105886

When are you next due to have your daughter if she had returned home to mum?

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105887

It’s been a bit ad hoc over lockdown, with extra days in between, but the usual routine for term time is fri-mon one weekend and just Sunday the next. Mum however recently refused the just Sunday, when lockdown began, because sports club I take her to is cancelled.

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105889

I think it would look really good for you all round especially with social services if you obtain a hours legal advice about all this. She has obstructed contact and is likely to stop all contact if handed back. You have serious safeguarding issues and believe in the interim she is better off with you. I would after social services saying what they said say you want to be a resident parent and have her do a drugs test and you would promote contact ie every other weekend unless social services said otherwise. Let her make application to court. If ss contact you say you can take kids to mums as long as you guarantee to bring them back, likelihood is they cant so it wont happen. If ss was backing you, an emergency hearing would of been advisable for interim order for daughter to live with you pending outcome of ex been tested.

I think a hours legal advice would be way forward , hopefully its free. And make sure you say that you want kids to see mum as that will look good unless someone advises otherwise. Offering supervised only could go against you due to nobody listening at moment
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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105987

I am going to repeat what you have already been told by experienced members...

Child stays with you, under no circumstances allow contact of any kind with mother.

Tell mother to submit an emergency application for contact.

Hold the position that mother has issues that need to be addressed and that you want to work with her and service providers to help your daughter enjoy a relationship with both parents but that you will be seeking a residence order in your favour.

Ignore mom, her partner and everything else and focus on creating an amazing life for your daughter that is drama free and Filled with joy.
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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105995

Thankyou all for your replies!

So I had an urgent hearing yesterday, mother had filled out an c100 and c1a and asked for an urgent hearing. Accusing me of kidnapping and emotional abuse. I have been represented by a solicitor.

The judge I had was a civil judge and not family. He adjourned the hearing untill Tuesday. Ruling child stay with me untill then. Reasons being SS have not finished their most recent assessment and he will be using that as evidence on which to base his decision. I had submitted around 20 pages of paperwork which he had not considered.

Seeing as his decision will be heavily based on the SS report, which will say what has happened recently, but will also say that mums house is a safe environment despite this.

I am really hoping SS report will include her partners statement ( about her using again- disappearing- smashing up the house) that he later redacted. ??

Fairly worried that the judge is simply going to look at the SS report and let them make the decision for him. In which case I will have to settle for a direct contact order, or carry on fighting to get full residency. I am planning on going for full residency.

Wondering if anyone has any insight into what I can do to help my case. Or how much weight a redacted statement will have in court.

Thanks again!

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #105997

Having been the subject of various allegations that were proved, thankfully via cctv and statements, to be false, I have some insight into the courts operation in such matters. The boyfriend made serious allegations that will raise safeguarding concerns, I would think they will operate with safety, and your daughter will stay with you and a lengthy safeguarding investigation will resume. However, remember that your daughter will love her mommy, you need to minimise the emotional damage, so I would suggest your ex gets lots of supervised visitation with mommy.

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #106018

Thanks for you reply. That makes me feel a lot more positive about my case. Do you mind me asking what you were accused of?

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Contact Issues, Child in need, Emotional abuse, Court Order Help! 2 months 1 week ago #106022

I was accused of EVERYTHING. What made it worse is that my ex’s best friend is a senior social worker in our town, who guided and accompanied her ever step of the way. Family and friends, people I have known for my entire life turned against me. The initial accusation related to a specific event and CCTV proved that it was false and police reported she was not credible, had lied etc.

Then half way through proceeding she started telling friends and family members, our employees and her therapist and solicitor that I had raped her and and worse. These friends and employees spread this message to everyone that would listen, I guess in an effort to support my ex and my children, who they perceived to be victims of a monster.

Then, when I applied for a change of residency, she brought one of the children to a hospital, claiming another extremely serious assault and threat to kill.

This time police said they knew it was bullshit, and interviewed me some six months later, on a voluntary basis. Police were extremely supportive, they have a job to do. They cannot ignore such allegations.

The issue is, that they can be made with impunity. That needs to change.

I am not sure I will ever recover from the ordeal, however, I live in a small town, and had a high profile businesses. My family had businesses in the same town from 1904. That allowed the news listed above to spread like wildfire. The fact that I stayed put, that I live in the same house, that I made sure, when possible to engage with the community as much as possible, over time, diluted the hatred and contempt that was directed my way for the first few years, but still, it takes huge courage at times just to go to the shop.

I would have killed myself but I knew what it would do to my children to grow up thinking their father was a rapist who had hospitalised them as children. My choice was to endure the pain, the loss of family, and business, or transfer that suffering to my children.

Not much of a choice really, but it could have been very different.

She wanted me to kill myself, of that I am sure.
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