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TOPIC: Guardian

Guardian 1 month 1 week ago #105845

I've been separated from my exgf for 5 years. We have a 11 year old girl.. she lives with her

Seems like this crap will never end

When I left she blindsided me with an NMO. Didn't even know about until a month later. Made up a load of rubbish - went to court to contest, but settled for consenting without admitting to any of the rubbish. I wasn't in the right state of mind, didn't have the resources and wanted to move on with my life.

I still kept seeing my daughter through her sister... ex made this very difficult, very unreliable., a few hours at a time every other week... cancelled sometimes on a whim... she then started snitching around when she found I had another girl and made things even more difficult

After a year of this crap and sorting my life out I've decided enough is enough and applied for a CAO

During the CAO proceedings, police/SS etc got involved, and all reports came clean.... the non-mol got dropped to facilitate contact, and swiftly contact was restored... I had whole weekends, half holidays and half major days (christmas/easter/birthdays here and there)....

Represented myself suited and booted with bundles of evidence.... never bad mouthed the mother, she threw the kitchen sink at me... lied to the courts to CAFCASS

I was pleased astronished for so many months I thought I was in a dark place…

her contradictory statements are her own undoing... I am 100% careful with contact, never send anything unless through third party (although no NMO in place), never give her any ammo...

she calls the police and SS every month... complaining about this and that... that my house is too cold for my daughter, that I am meeting her school without her permission, that my and my partner "display sexual things in front of her" (hugging and kissing? I'm not sure honestly this was weird let me tell you that....)…

I found about all of these through data protection requests… it was honestly weird stacks of “no action required” papers from both police and SS….

SS and Police never acted on any of it …. But seems like her way of doing things is to ramp up any crap and hoping a history builds up…

Contact was mostly ok since the CAO… although she goes out of her way to inconvenience me whenever possible… I made a stop to that by having a clear parenting plan rubber stumbed through court every year so no-one is in doubt… down to the exact hours and days

Last of which was just last January and she raised no problems then and agreed to it in court…

Enter coronavirus…

You guessed of course stops all contact… I mull over enforcement but decided against and settled for video chats until the situation is better….

Sends a nonmol application to the court asking for no more contact… in the non mol she brings up fresh stuff that wasn’t there before… all apparently when we were living together 5 years ago… and says I’m a danger to the child and to her…..

I go like here we go not this shit again…

judge tells her wtf you’re on about this is not the right way to do things…

Her nonmol is declined now she puts in an child issue application… she wants to stop all contact… says I am pressuring our daughter to live with us and says the daughter seems happier with her and says all contact must be supervised blablabla

We have a hearing… judge grills her for 1 hour on her contradictory statements…nearly straight up telling her she’s a liar…

In the end she asked her straightup whether she really wants to pursue the application… she says yes…

she says she wants to appoint a guardian and solicitor to represent the child… asks me what I think I say if you think that’s the right way I’m ok but I’m disappointed we’re involving the child in this…. Asks her what she thinks she says hell yeah…

So now it’s out of both of our hands… and I’m not sure what ot make it

On the one hand I have no doubt she will spend the next few days spoon feeding her what to tell the guardian….

On the other hand I think this is a sign the judge doesn’t trust her and wants to shake things up a little bit… dare I say I am hopeful he finally sees what a nutter she is, wasting everyone’s time

But I learnt through the years that this cannot happen…

So I don’t ever see this leading to a positive outcome for the child…. At worst all visits to me are stopped

So I’m at a loss what to make of this realy and what’s next for me to do…

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Last Edit: by gobackthere.

Guardian 1 month 1 week ago #105847


so will there be another hearing? guardian/solicitor will be deciding in whats in best interest of child. i have been looking on mumsnet, and apparently guardian/solicitors have been appointed for 6 year olds lol.

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Guardian 1 month 1 week ago #105848

yeah there will be further hearings

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Guardian 1 month 1 week ago #105849

Theres a pandemic at moment. When lockdown is lifted your ex will be in trouble and your contact restored. I would even try getting more contact and making order even more watertight

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Guardian 1 month 2 days ago #106002


we have a current order than says I would have the child for overnights

She has put in a variation application asking for this to stop because of "emotional abuse" on the child

We had a hearing where she made it clear she won't abide by current order.

So now we're waiting for the judge to set a directions hearing

Should I file an enforcement application at the same time? I know it will be joined to the current case

Seems to me like I should, so at least I can ask the judge to put an enforcement order if she fails with her application

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Guardian 1 month 2 days ago #106006


no i dont think you should make an enforcement application at same time. your application fee will go to waste. only confuses the process. wait for the directions hearing. after that see if your ex follows through and obeys court order. if not, then make an enforcement application.

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Guardian 1 month 2 days ago #106010

Does the child arrangements/contact order detail what will happen if it’s not adhered to ? Usually you can ask fir this to be added.

Allegations of emotional abuse should be ignored, unless she really has evidence, the court will have no interest. Your position will be to calmly dispute these allegations as unreasonable behaviour designed to hinder your relationship with your child. They are unlikely to appoint a guardian at this stage, again, unless there are other factors.

As stated by more experienced members, it’s probably best waiting until it gets to court, and seeing what happens. She is using the virus to block contact, and the court will recognise this. You will obviously ask for lost time to be made up, which should be a no brain decision for the judge.

If the judge appoints a guardian, you can be sure this is going to drag out longer that you want, but as long as you

If it’s been before the courts previously, and if a guardian in appointed, you can hope to achieve more time with your child, and might want to vary the order. The judge will not want this coming back again and again, your ex is clearly being unreasonable. This all goes in your favour.

Remain calm, and forget the mom and her allegations, strive to build the best relationship you can with your child and all will be good.

By the time the corona virus is over, the courts are going to be filled with cases exactly the same as yours, and I foresee judges being very, very annoyed with those utilising a worldwide health crisis to hinder a child’s contact with the other parent, at a time when their lives are upside down and such contact would be deemed even more important for the children’s emotional wellbeing.

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Guardian 3 weeks 3 days ago #106234

I have finally received the text of the interim order at the directions hearing...

It left me somewhat dumbfounded...

On the face of it, the judge record that any safeguarding reports are suspended... because surprise surprise.. we had one 3 months ago and it was all clear..

Then she notes that the mother has stopped all contact and is now turning up all sorts of allegations, including child manipulation, domestic abuse (we don't live together anymore??? we hardly even text) and claims that she is suffering mental health issues

She then records that she "notes with grave concern that the mother has said there are no welfare issues only 3 months ago", and then suddenly she decides now that all contact must be stopped because of welfare issues...

The text wasn't nice at all to her...

She then records that the a guardian has been appointed, and the mother must submit all medical records, and must consent to all medical records of herself and our daughter to the guardian. But notably I wasn't asked to this... despite the fact that the ex practically called me crackpot/crazy/narcisicistic/personality disorder in every statement she made

Left me seriously dumbfounded and worried.

Then the kicker... she thinks the case is of sufficient complexity and has elevated it to the high court...

Judge also asked for a transcript of the judgement she laid down for contact 3 months ago to be obtained at public expense and to be sent forward with the case... During that session the ex was truly wild... clearly unhappy about the outcome... even calling the judge "unfair"

Meanwhile the ex has upped the ante and has now also stopped telephone contact... truly vile...

And now it's a waiting game for a high court directions hearing I think... and then whatever comes out of it...

This is slooooow...

And let it be known guys... this is all happening whilst a court order is already in place...

I am thinking now should i cross apply for enforcement? this is going to take ages!

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Last Edit: by gobackthere.

Guardian 3 weeks 2 days ago #106243

You wont need to apply for enforcement as you are already in family court. I think u got to play the long game and let your ex look silly.
Whilst theres corona virus around most you would get is a couple of video calls a week. she has even stopped that which shows exactly how bitter she is and not putting child first at all. it will all resolve itself in end , but like you say may take a while. lets hope you can contact for summer holidays

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Guardian 3 weeks 2 days ago #106248

Get it back to court corona virus or not. Your kids need to see your face, to know you are there, regardless of how little time you get on zoom or Skype, take it. Being child focused, we must remember that children need, and deserve a relationship with both parents. Take what you can get, you might get more than you expect.

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Last Edit: by Bubbleberry.
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