Hi all, new to the forum but could do with some advice.
I recently had an Ex parte summoned on me and the hearing is on Friday over the phone, her whole statement is full of vicious lies which I can prove are false due to conversations and other evidence.
I was curious is She aloud to contact me as it says no contact via third parties, and other forms of communication,
however I received a message from her today via a third party 3days into the order, I have spoken to a female friend recently who had one taken out on her ex partner and she said that she couldn't contact me in any shape or form and vice versa and it makes the whole order void?
advice would be great, I am going to talk to a solicitor tomorrow if it is required to do so, help would be appreciated.
she is the mother of my children and I cant hate her but all this stuff is all annoying I haven't seen my boys in over a month
I would politely decline her application and say you have not anything she is saying. also you need to say you cant understand why she is messaging you , but yet trying to get a non molestation order out against you. you believe this is to obstruct you having a relationship with your children.
Make sure you get a c100 in for child arrangements as well
I believe this is to stop me having access to my children in the message received today via a third party, she refers to the kids as MY KIDS in capital letters, her whole statement is just based on false allegations of controlling and coercive behaviour, to be honest its laughable as none of it happened so I don't even know how she managed to get a Ex parte order on me without any evidence included in the report or order from the court.
she is also trying to claim an Occupation order along with the No Molestation Order as the council tenancy is in both our names, she has put me through hell recently and it doesn't look like stopping anytime soon.
Do no rules apply to her in relation to contacting me?
NO rules apply . But you want her to contact you as then its evidence why you shouldn't be getting a non molestation served on you. don't text/ring or do anything until you go to court about it . also make sure you get an application in to get contact with children
Thanks for clearing that up, I will not talk to her at all, I don't really want to if I'm honest with you.
I have gathered so much evidence already to make her claims void, just trying to build up my case, if I get offered an Undertaking shall I accept it or just go straight ahead and fight the claims? as I highly doubt that she would want to get cross examined if it went that far.
Friend, a lot of people have been through what you have been.
First, you have to realise this is upping the ante - there is no going back from this. You have to realise that this is now a completely different game. A game where you could end up in jail, where you could never see your children, where you could lose your house and everything.
I'm not telling you this to scare you - I'm simply making sure that you understand the gravity and seriousness of the situation.
Never communicate with her again. Every piece of communication has to be exactly as the court would wish it to be - either through solicitors or through what the court agrees (e.g. a nominated third party).
This will mean a lot of pain in the short term, but you'll get through it.
Contest the non-mol if you wish, and the occupation order. Be prepared however, to understand that you have a lot of fights to go through at the moment and it might be best to concentrate your energy on what's dearest to you - probably seeing your children first, and secondly making sure you don't get shafted financially.
This means that you may wish to compromise the nonmol via way of undertakings. In any case, under no circumstance let it fall through that you are guilty of something you have not done - make sure that on the face of any agreements that there is no admission of fault.
There is a lot of information on this website and others. Read, read, and read. Time to take this super seriously.
Accept nothing not even an undertaking. But do apply to family court by filling in a c100 to sort out child contact arrangements . maybe worth contacting a mediator 1st before doing so . this will show the courts hopefully you are getting advice and doing things the legal way
I agree completely! Don't even accept an undertaking as that is a form of liability. I'm going through the exact same thing (non-molestation order and occupancy order), and realise my ex is doing this to claim Legal Aid. If you accept even an undertaking and your ex meets criteria for Legal Aid then this could (financially) destroy you as she could sit back while you pour money away on solicitors and barristers. If an order is approved by the judge this could also have a huge impact on any CAO you have in the pipeline.
I'd strongly recommend you get a barrister to represent you. I thought of representing myself but realising what she was up to I did not want to take the chance and hired a barrister.
Thanks for all the advice I am gunna just give in my side of the story, I'm just curious as to if it is worth it as she got me arrested recently for an Historic Rape that didn't even happen (Just wanted me out of the property basically) and I am currently released under investigation which could in theory drag on forever as there is no evidence or anything due to the nature of the claim, but these things are easy to accuse the male of and the police have to do there jobs.
I'm not sure if she has done this based on reports that the police have or the fact that I have been released under investigation, its always one thing after another with her and the order literally turned up on the day that my actual 28 day bail ended, I didn't have to attend the police station just got an email from my solicitor saying I was to be released under investigation and not to attend my bail and that was it.
Back in February i got Cautioned by the police for smacking my son and left a mark, Sociel Services wasnt that bothered as i didnt have to have supervised access to my kids and it was the first time I had done anything like it, could see them when i wanted etc. and they wanted the case dealt with quickly as there was no threat involved regarding the children, and then Covid hit so things have obviously dragged on as I cant do the courses and stuff required.
I was just advised that i would have to do a course over the phone with a Family Support worker to learn how to deal with my childrens behaviour better, i think that if i appeal it the judge would just go on all the facts pointed out above and i wouldnt stand a chance anyway
Although all her other claims are false and when I read them I did have to laugh as to how she could think of such rubbish.