TOPIC: Going for residency

Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106728

Right a strange on. Questions. If I go to court for 50/50 how long will it take? Will I get it? Will it go against me that ex accused me of emotional abuse in marriage? I only have kids (age 3 and 5) one night every 3 weeks at weekend and 1 Night for tea a week. Ex refusing anymore and currently in mediation but it’s not going to work.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106729

hi,

usually you would only get residency for serious reasons, like ex is drunk or druggie. neglecting kids, not taking them to school etc.

from what i heard from other dads, getting 50/50 is very difficult. a straightforward court case can take 4-6 months on average.

being accused of emotional abuse in marriage is common. should not go against you, as long as you dont have a police record for abuse, violence etc.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106730

No you wont get 50/50. You will probably keep your day during week for tea and be offered every other weekend. Children are very young though and if the allegations start there could be a lot of problems ahead and potential of no contact, also why was you only having 1 night every 3 weeks. was it because of work etc

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106731

Will it go against me that emotional abuse was mentioned in unreasonable behaviour decree absolute which I signed? Also she works 1 day on a weekend every 3 weeks, that’s only reason I get them on that weekend and that’s why she won’t change? Should mention it wasn’t emotional abuse I just signed it to get the divorce over and done with

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106732

I also think she’ll make a string of concerns to Cafcass, will they listen? It’s all nonsense

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106734

Chrrriiss wrote: Will it go against me that emotional abuse was mentioned in unreasonable behaviour decree absolute which I signed? Also she works 1 day on a weekend every 3 weeks, that’s only reason I get them on that weekend and that’s why she won’t change? Should mention it wasn’t emotional abuse I just signed it to get the divorce over and done with


if you apply for childrens arrangement order, it has nothing to do with your divorce. child maintenance is also a completely separate issue.

you should be able to see your kids every other weekend at least. friday after school/evening - sunday evening

don't worry. you will hear more about emotional abuse, financial/coercive control lol. ignore all that rubbish. her lawyer will spout this nonsense. court/cafcass have heard it all before.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106735

Thanks reassuring but how will that work... should I go for every weekend as her work schedule won’t work having every other weekend and her solicitor and mediator said that they do look at work schedule.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106737

if you ask for every weekend, your ex will disagree most likely. every other weekend is what the court usually orders. if she works 1 day on a weekend, then you can have your child as well on that day. if this is heading to court, don't agree to anything unreasonable in mediation. your being treated unfairly.

depends on what you can agree. e.g.if one night every weekend can work for both of you, maybe you could agree to that. when i was in court, they weren't really bothered about my work schedules. they basically ordered me to pick up my kids from school, every time i want to see them. told them a lot of employers are turning me down because i would have to do school runs. judge just said i can find a job that is flexible and can accommodate school runs.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106738

Do you want 50/50? if so go for 50/50.

You don't necessarily work around her availability schedule - you don't go for whatever scraps she leaves off when she is not working. the contact you go for is child focussed.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106741

Yes I want 50/50 nervous about going to court as think she will use it to get residency and she’ll dig up some past stuff

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106742

Go for it. If logistics work, 50/50 can be given. What are you going to lose?

Almost everybody here has been accused of stuff - some of it quite horrible. "emotional abuse" that's mild stuff compared to what I've been accused of. She can dig up whatever she wants. In my case the police/SWs did their investigation and turned up nothing.

If there is something concrete in your background - e.g. an actual conviction, etc... it's not the end of the world too. Depends on what it is, but the courts are very very reluctant to stop contact between parents and children unless there is some serious conduct that is *also* going to affect the child.

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Going for residency 1 month 1 week ago #106743

Can she go for residency on the back of my application?

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