• Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: fact finding

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110909

  • HazzaB3
  • HazzaB3's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 4
  • Thank you received: 0
Hi everyone
So me and the ex are ordered a fact finding of sorts, basically I have to respond to her statement about DV and then the judge will decide. Unconventional I know.
So my question is if agressions are found on both parts i.e she punched me in the face so I pushed her. (With proof)
She hit me with a ruler so I hit her back with it.
Ive made it clear I want to move on from it all and see my children but she seems to be clinging to it.

What are likely outcomes? Will the children be taken from both? Will We both have to attend a DV course?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110910

I think best to tackle one step at a time. The outcome will depend on a number of issues. How old are the children and have they witnessed the DV? I expect the court will order a CAFCASS report - the court will give weight to this and is unlikely to go against the recommendations. On balance, social services are reluctant to remove children from the care of a parent unless they have been mistreated. They would prefer them to remain with a stable caring parent - whoever that might be. You need to respond to her statement by the due date - send a copy to the court and her solicitor if she has one. You might be entitled to legal aid. Has she applied for a non mol? If you have been subjected to DV, you could put in a counter non mol application. The court might order joint undertakings meaning both parties agree not to assault the other. If you could give a bit more background, it might help gauge the possible outcomes.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110912

Children wont be taking from either of you no matter what the findings are.
Unfortunately its always dads that end up on DV courses and if you submit what you said above you will be put on
one for certain..
A find a fact hearing is to decide if something is more likely to have happened than not so effectively (51%).

So both of your answers above would result in findings against you for domestic violence resulting in a course potentially.Mum will get little more than a telling off and maybe put on a separated parenting programme which is course that lasts a couple of hours

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110914

  • HazzaB3
  • HazzaB3's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 4
  • Thank you received: 0
Hi! Thanks for responding

Cafcass are involved and the children have a child solicitor and childrens guardian. They are 5 and 1.
One of them was witness to alot of it.

I have submitted my statement of her apologising for punching me and alot of other instances where she accepts she attacked me.

I currently have no contact as advised my the children’s guardian as my ex accused me of horrific things that I can prove are untrue. There are cases that I have retaliated but essentially she did emotionally & physically abuse me. I never wanted to bring up any of it because I wanted to stay child focused.

She accused me of being a drug abuser and said she hated drugs and I have pictures of her smoking weed. She has painted a picture of herself to the courts and cafcass that is essentially a lie.

I guess my question was, I can prove we were both awful to eachother and that she has lied to the judge and cafcass alot.

Will I ever get to see my kids again?

To answer further questions, I have a solicitor and she is litigant. No non mol against me and she has no legal aid

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Last Edit: by HazzaB3.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110915

hi,

you will have to wait on the the outcome of this fact finding, then courts would decide on the next steps about child contact. when is your next hearing?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110919

  • HazzaB3
  • HazzaB3's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 4
  • Thank you received: 0
a few more weeks to go :(

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110921

i see. if she won't allow access to your kids right now, all you can do is play the waiting game for next hearing. hope it works out well for you. if shes not talking to you, you could consider asking your solicitor to contact her to allow you to see your child. but could be waste of money if your ex is not interested.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110923

  • HazzaB3
  • HazzaB3's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 4
  • Thank you received: 0
Well the child guardian is actually saying no to contact also so there’s that.

Yeah my ex talks to me almost daily to ask for money on top of her maintenance as she apparently isn’t coping, but is also very scared of me apparently so it’s very confusing for me!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110926

I certainly wouldnt be paying any more than child maintenance are asking for let alone a mum that is denying you seeing your children.
At fact finding you need to come across u want to move on and be a dad to children, i wouldnt be bothering with running your ex down and raising counter allegations . At fact finding there will need to be evidence, i am guessing what your 5 year old may have seen or witnessed will play a huge part potentially, hopefully your solicitor will advise you how to represent yourself. Being calm and speaking about children only will serve you well and i would even due to young age of children enrol yourself on a parenting course through Barnados or an organisation similar as you will find it very helpful.before hearing if possible. If you are going to admit to any form of domestic violence where there may be evidence , verbal isnt as bad as physical in the eyes of family court judges and you could say although it takes 2 to argue i have had time to reflect and have now realised that there are 2 children that are witnessing our disagreements and could of walked away. You could say we are split up now and would like to co parent moving forward and cant change the past but know that children need both parents and things to be amicable etc

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110927

Sounds if your x is playing the game a lot do!
In my case DV no everdance but Caf and court went along with x (me children focus) have not seen the children at all for 9 months x is using the children against me l have not even said a bad word against but a time will come that the alleged affair that she had caused this.

So I will wait and Just pay CMS Only and no more.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110928

Agree with Warwickshire no more other than CMS Your x will say cannot cope with only and will keep on hounding you but do not bend stay firm!

As well you may have to play the long game and wait until all quiets down.
You have time on your side to do not rush but would not talk over phone just in case your x turns south and twist things that could make it a lot worse.
WhatApp copy everything then that way your x cannot excuse you of anything keep it simple ask about the children but leave the money etc out of it as it’s been dealt by the CMS.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

fact finding 1 month 3 weeks ago #110943

  • Yoda
  • Yoda's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 2730
  • Thank you received: 464
As has been said, children are very rarely removed from parents care.

Nobody can predict the outcome of a fact finding but it's good that you have legal representation and the children do too. Should make for a more balanced hearing.

Sit tight and once it's done, you can at least move forward.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Moderators: Samantha Downes