TOPIC: naturism and children

Hi, I have just found out that my ex wife has just taken my 7 year old son on a camping holiday to a naturist resort here in the u.k? whilst I have no issues with nudity myself i feel this to be a very tender subject where children are concerned, especially when the child is of this age and really has no say in the matter.
Also my ex wife is in fact bi-sexual and I have a feeling her visiting this place may be more than just for that of the naturist side of things?
initially I am livid that she should even contemplate involving my son within this activity! I have no interest in what she and her new partner do within thier own privite life but this is my son and I feel I should have a say in this.
I am in a situation of not knowing how to deal and approach this subject with his mother. it may be that I have this all out of proportion and perhaps even got this wrong but from what my son describes as all adults being completely nude can only confirm my beliefs
sadly my communication with my ex-wife is through text and e-mail only

Hi Bestdad#1

This is not an easy subject and I am not sure how I would feel in your shoes.

As a parent myself I would normally start by saying in any situation like this it is always best to try and sit down with your ex partner in the first instance and chat through your concerns and worries and come to a mutual conclusion. However from you last statement it sounds like communication is not great between you.

If that is the case then I’m not sure but wonder if you are basically looking at one of 2 options here especially if you really want to stop this happening again.

1) A Prohibited Steps Order is a court order that can be requested by either parent as long as they both have Parental Responsibility for their child (are you named on the birth certificate as dad?) This order basically stops or prohibits a parent from undertaking an activity with that child. You will have to get a solicitor to action this and it will of course need to go to court as I would image she will contest this action.

The Google search I looked at says

Prohibited Steps Orders relate to restricting Parental Responsibility. If a parent has parental responsibility, then he or she has the right independently to take decisions about matters such as schooling, medical treatment, and religion. A Prohibited Steps Order can remove a parent’s right to make such decisions about their child’s life. A parent can be prohibited from taking any number of steps, though the most common scenario is where one parent, suspecting that the other may be planning to move abroad with the child, applies for an order that s/he be ‘prohibited from removing the child from the jurisdiction’. Others examples could be: prohibiting the parent from allowing the child to: have body/ear piercings; her hair cut (when with either parent); take part in dangerous activities; do glamour modelling; be fed food contrary to religious beliefs; etc. The Court’s willingness to grant the order will depend on the circumstances presented to them and what the Court considers to be in the children’s best interests.

2) Have an initial conversation with social service and express concern about the situation stating that you as the parent (again if you have parental responsibility) are worried that this incident may be repeated and are concerned for the well being of your child in such an environment. This course of action really needs to not be about your ex partner and her sexuality but totally around the care and well being of your child.

Mate, is there any chance you could discuss the issue with your ex partners wider family and get them to help her see that you have a voice in this. The avenues outlined above are both full on and won’t be easy.

I will ask our legal experts to have a look at this thread to and see what they think your options might be.

Hi Guys - I have moved this thread over to this board as I think it is the best place for it




Gooner

Dear Bestdad#1

Thank you for your enquiry.
In order to stop the mother of your child taking him to places which you feel are not in his best interest, you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, especially if she is not willing to negotiate.
This means a person must have the court's permission before undertaking actions specified in the order. The Court will only make a Prohibited Steps Order where it can be shown to be in the best interests of the child to do so. To clarify a Prohibited Steps Order does not remove parental responsibility, however limits the power a parent has in relation to the matter specified in the order.
The courts main consideration in granting a prohibited steps order is the welfare of the child, and how the order would affect the child. The court will use the welfare checklist in order to determine what is in the child’s best interests. The factors which they use are:

a) The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, sex, background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question

In order to obtain a prohibited steps order, an application needs to be made to court on form C100.Guidance notes CB1 and CB3 also accompany this form, and all can be found on the HMCS website. If you are not eligible for legal aid, it is possible to represent yourself, and to file the application at court will cost in the region of £200-250.

If you have any futher queries please do not hesitate to contact us on 0808 802 0008

The Childrens Legal Centre