I've always been an nervous and anxious person and since dealing with my Ex's false accusations, court sessions and even after successfully gaining shared care of my son, the anxiety has never gone away. The worst part for me is the car journey to the handover place and seeing 'her' every time acting as though nothing had ever happened.
Since the Covid-19 crisis I decided to postpone my shared sessions, as I needed to shield my Mother who's over 70 and with underlying health conditions (mentioned in a previous post in a different section). This was all agreed to by I and my ex formally via email. Thankfully I am able to do video calls with him ever other day. I will be commencing my shared care with him next week, after more than 2 months.
I'm really looking forward to seeing him again and miss him very much, but for some reason i'm full of dread. It's as though I've lost confidence again and I keep over thinking what will happen? Will I still be a good dad? What if my son is distant from me? He's only a toddler, but he's always happy too see me on the video calls and mentions about coming to my house. I think I may not be 'over' the things that have happened. Any advice? Anyone in a similar situation? I just:( needed to mention this in a place where people may understand where I'm coming from?
Completely understand. It's a great miscarriage of justice of our times, that the emotional abuse that is practiced as sport by resident parents by hurling false accusations and making contact difficult is never recognised. Your state is shared by hundreds of thousands if not millions.
I found what helps sometimes is look back to when I was a child and how much trust and love I had for my dad. There is a boy out there who loves you, who thinks you're the greatest person ever and who is just as anxious and anticipating of seeing you. And he needs a strong man to show him that all is ok and he will grow into the greatest man he could be.
Thank you for the advice. It's appreciated. I need to be strong for my son as you say. It's just this niggling thought of dread that never seems to go away.
My ex falsely accused my Mum & Dad of psychological abuse. May Dad passed away from Cancer in late 2018, having never been vindicated and having never met his grandson. That's what makes it worse. He was a rock and now when I need him more than ever for advice he's not here. Fortunately my ex cannot make any allegations against me and my family now. There is definitely not enough recognition out there for the mental abuse that comes from situations like mine, for innocent men.