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TOPIC: Role allocation

Role allocation 6 years 7 months ago #27214

  • huck
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Five days a week, I rise at 6 am and leave to teach in a state comprehensive school at 7 am. returning home between 5 and 6 pm. My boisterous 3 yr old then wants to play ACTION games the minute I step inside the door - chasing, hiding, wrestling etc. Then its tea, more play and I am in bed by 9 to start the whole cycle the next day. If I suggest quieter games - drawing, lego, reading a story together he gets very upset and makes a scene I am too tired to cope with. Weekends I am always up a few hours before my wife to child-mind as she says childcare is more tiring than teaching. We have one child who does three half days a week at nursery whilst my wife is at home-she does not work. Gardening, car washing and trips to park and swimming at the weekends add to my(sole) responsibilities. It seems now society has put TOO many demands on men - I am sole breadwinner plus all the above. Am I being selfish, naive, unrealistic? Comments please guys.

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Re: Role allocation 6 years 7 months ago #27403

Hi there, I have just read your thread. I am a mum to two young children of school age and am working part time now, but I remember when they were 3 it was more exhausting being at home 24/7. That saying, I go to work for a rest could not be more true LOL! I too am up at 6am, but in bed for 11pm most day's. When I was married, a lie in at the weekend was taken in turns. Perhaps the grandparents could have your little one overnight so you could both catch up on sleep/go away for a wkend. As for your little guy wanting a bit of rough and tumble, it's normal. If you have a garden or park near by, why not all of you go for some fresh air with him. You would feel a little less tired too. Perhaps take turns in cooking and have a take away one night. I think you guys need to talk about how you feel, you need to be honest with your wife otherwise you will end up resenting her x

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Last Edit: by BooBoo2010. Reason: spelling error

Re: Role allocation 6 years 4 months ago #30104

You are certainly in a tough position. You work hard all day to earn money to support your wife and son. You come home and need some down time but have to jump right in with your fatherly duties. When the weekend comes, you want nothing more than to relax a bit. No one will fault you for any of this.

Here's your two responsibilities when you get home. 1) Love your wife. 2) Love your son.

Unfortunately that means that you will sometimes take on more than she does in order to give your son the best childhood he can have. Sounds like acts of service speak volumes to your wife...Then acts of service she will get. Since you're already up early on the weekends, make her breakfast in bed. That can be a father/son bonding time. He will love helping Dad in the kitchen. She will love the extra sleep. Run a load of laundry or a load of dishes. Take a walk with your son. Wrestle with with him. Play some catch. Play tag or chase around the house. By the time you get some lunch in his stomach, both of you guys will be up for a well-deserved nap. There's your weekend rest time.

If you follow through with these actions for a few weeks, your wife will take notice. She will wonder what's gotten into you. She will certainly find it attractive. Studies show that if we ACT like we're in love with each other, we will begin to FEEL like we're in love...all over again.

Think back to those wedding vows. If you're like me, your promise wasn't to love, honor, and cherish IF your wife will do XYZ. You made a promise. Follow through. It's tough. Ask yourself...it it worth it? Is she worth it? Is my boy worth it? Because when it all comes down to it, your son needs a dad.

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Re: Role allocation 6 years 1 month ago #35618

Totally agree, Scott will you marry me LOL!??????

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