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TOPIC: advise/opinions please

advise/opinions please 5 years 3 months ago #48424

  • cc28
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Hello, im new to the forum, but I come with an issue quite sensitive to myself

Me and my partner have been together about 14 months, and from almost day 1 I raised her baby as my own (shes now 22 months), she calls me daddy and our family recognise me as her 'father' (her real 'dad' wants nothing to do with her and is not around).

More relevant to my issue- my partner and I are now trying for a baby together but she has told me that any baby we have (until were married) will have her surname as opposed to mine, this really upset me and she wont even negotiate on it, Id be happy with doubel barreled. Im english but have an unusual foreign sounding name which I would like to carry on as a family tradition, especially if we had a boy. Obviously there the issue of her not wanting the first born to have her surname and the next one to have mine, especially as the little girl believes I am Daddy, (will tell her the truth when shes old enough)

Any advice or opinions please?

cc28

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advise/opinions please 5 years 3 months ago #48445

  • actd
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I can understand her concerns about 2 children having different surnames, as long as it is for the right reasons, though I also appreciate how you feel. Could you accept if your surname is used as a middle name for your next baby as a compromise? I assume you will be named as the father on the birth certificate.
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advise/opinions please 5 years 3 months ago #48452

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I would definitly be named on the birth certificate. Id marry her tomorrow but money is quite a problem. I was keen on a double barreled surname but was dismisded as it 'sounds daft' :(

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advise/opinions please 5 years 3 months ago #48456

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Im scared i wont be able to get my head round her opinion on this and it would result in me not wanting to be with her. I know this doesnt sound like much compared to some peoples probs on here but it hurts all the same

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advise/opinions please 5 years 3 months ago #48472

  • Nannyjane
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...I think you should hold off trying for a baby until you can get this resolved, otherwise it could just cause problems further down the line. If its so important to you then she needs to realise that, and bringing a baby into the mix whilst there are unresolved problems swirling around isn't good for any of you.

What if you suggest changing your little girls surname by deed poll to yours, that way both children will have the same surname, as will your partner when you get married.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
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