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TOPIC: Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces

Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 6 months ago #40689

It seems my X wife stayed in contact with 5 X boyfriends & lovers, some I knew but didn't know they were intimate previously (but had some suspicions).

To my value set this is very abnormal & I have never maintained contact with X wife & lovers. I always said my goodbyes & moved on.......

What do other people think - is it abnormal to maintain contact with X lovers (one an affair) & X boyfriends like this whilst in a relationship for+15 years with 3 kids??

What is your experiences is this unhealthy to current relationships or normal lover becoming friend?

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Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 6 months ago #40697

Hmm not sure I would be keen on the idea, depends what contact they have I suppose ?

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Trying to make sure the CSA/CMS do things right

Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 6 months ago #40771

Huxley wrote: Hmm not sure I would be keen on the idea, depends what contact they have I suppose ?


Social media, Christmas cards, their parties (we both went) a couple of them attended our family events (christenings / Christmas drinks etc) mobile phone, email. One used to drop in for a coffee about once every 3 years! one she visited with out me knowing & with our kids.......

Basic question is is it normal to maintain social / familial relations with X's? I don't think so?,,,,,, at all,,, but am willing to hear other peoples views & experiences to compare vs mine.

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Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 6 months ago #40844

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I am still very friendly with my first ex wife (she's more like a sister now) and my wife is also still friends with her ex who she was with for 10 years before me - I also get on very well with him and see him sometimes at family occasions (he gets on very well with my wife's family). There is no issue at all - both me and my wife know that if we didn't want to be with each other, then whether ex wives/partners are around or not, it wouldn't make a difference to the outcome. Neither of us look back and wish we were still with them - that was a different life for both of us, and we like the life we both have now with each other, and yes, we both trust each other completely. I do have one of my ex girlfriends as a friend on facebook - there's the occasional message between us, though I haven't seen her for over 10 years, but she helped me become who I am, and without her, I probably wouldn't have met my wife.

As for my second ex-wife - she's the last person on the planet I would want to maintain contact with.

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Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 5 months ago #41503

Some of my ex's I'm still in contact with (mainly social media) and others I'm not. What we had, is in the past - I am very happy with my wife. I guess it depends on how we split - whether it was a good or bad split. Most are married and have kids themselves now.

Would I be happy if my wife was still in contact with ex's on social media - yes I trust her. Any issues I had with it would be my issue not her's - it would come from my insecurities with myself and my relationship.



does this make any sense?

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Staying in contact wth X Lovers.....Expereinces 5 years 5 months ago #41622

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Blissfullyoblivious wrote: does this make any sense?


Yep, perfect sense :)

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