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TOPIC: I want a relationship with my kids

I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 3 months ago #59882

I have not seen my 3 children since December 14th 2013, because if a difficult relationship with their mother, my ex-wife. In the build up to Xmas she was being very difficult and would not confirm or guarantee the usual Boxing day that I would have with my children. There was so much animosity from her side, including her parents that I was advised by the police to avoid any contact and go back to court to resolve the matter. I did this and then I received communication from the courts that my ex-wife had submitted a request for a Specific Issue order. Not sure why so I waited for a hearing date from the courts but received nothing. So I contact the family courts and they advised that she had dropped this request and the case was now closed. But the court case was originally initiated by me and the courts should not have closed the case without my knowledge.

It has been an arduous 13 months to say the least as my ex-wife then subsequently moved house in February 2014 and I had no idea where my children had moved too. I have searched electoral roles, council offices, social services and the children's school all could not disclose where my children were. This has left me distraught and emotionally crippled without the love and closeness with my children. I am unable to afford the court fees of £250.00 as I am on limited wages due to maintenance payments through the CSA which I am glad are being paid to support my children financially. I don't know how I am going to start this process as I pay rent, council tax and other bills which leaves paying out more each month than i earn. I have now managed to find through a close friend of my ex-wife who she dumped as a friend when she met her new partner where my children are living and i want to go and see them, but I cant as their mother will call the police. i want to do things properly, but without financial ability, i am stuck. But I want to support them emotionally aswell, but as I am not seeing them through no fault of my own I will be labelled a bad father and waster dad. this stigma is not fair, as some women can be very deceitful and punish the father just because they are not together anymore.

Please, please can someone help me find a way to restore my children in my life as I am slowly spiralling into a depression and if I do I will never get to see them.

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I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 3 months ago #59889

Hi Harrylou,

I am sorry to read about the difficulties you are experiencing at the moment, it must feel as if everything is loaded against you at the moment.

It sounds like you are really struggling financially at the moment. Especially as you are currently paying out more than you are earning. I would suggest that you contact StepChange they specialise in dealing with debt problems but they can also offer support in working out a budget and how to organise your finances.

Getting your finances in sorted out could be the kind of lift you sound like you need at the moment.

Keep talking

Gooner

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I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 3 months ago #59946

The court fee should be £215 to make an application and that will be all you have to pay throughout the case although you will have to make an attempt at mediation before you do, it sounds like she won't attend so it shouldn't cost you more than £100.

If you can scrimp and scrape to get the money together to start proceedings it will be for the best and you will feel better in the knowledge that things are moving and I can promise you sooner or later you WILL be part of your childs life it's the law that every child has the right to BOTH parents in their lives and the family courts stick to that like glue.

As gooner said make it a priority to get your finances in shape as that adds so much stress to the situation I went through debt line and they were brilliant they prioritise your debts and sort out the ones that are most important and the one's that aren't once you get the ball rolling and sort the money things out you will feel heaps better, don't put either of these things off start making headway on monday and take the first the first steps in sorting everything out.

In the meantime try not to let it all consume you you need to be in a good frame of mind at the moment do your research on the family courts ect utilise this site and see if heres a fnf meeting in your area where you can seek support from other parents who are in a similar situation as yourself.

Good luck

Slim :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 2 months ago #61011

I found out where my kids are living and as it is my son's birthday, I went round last night and posted two cards 1 from me and 1 from his nana and my ex wife came out and chucked the cards into the street. What sort of mother does that make her doing that just shows her true colours and especially in front of our kids. She was annoyed that I had found her after 12 months of searching for them.

Was I wrong to post them through the door as there is no kids of order against me doing so. Just ripped my heart out that I couldn't give my son his birthday cards. Why are women such evil and nasty pieces of work to use children as weapons against you. it is not me she is hurting it is them. They will grow up and when old enough will see her for her true colours.

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I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 2 months ago #61026

Get contact through proper channels mate she can easily get you done for harassment of get a non mol placed on you so be very careful, now you have her contact details find a mediators and see if she will go to mediation then apply for an order to see your kids it's the only way and do it sooner rather than later.

Turning up like that with cards ect is bound to kick her off and upset the kids so be careful in all your future actions man :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

I want a relationship with my kids 4 years 2 months ago #61028

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..if you are on a low income you may be entitled to help with the court fees Harrylou. You would need form EX160a to claim this.

This also applies to mediation, legal aid funding is still available for mediation if your finances allow....worth looking into.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
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