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TOPIC: Help guys!

Help guys! 4 years 2 weeks ago #65530

  • Madness
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I got a gorgeous 16 month old girl...
I cook, clean, shop, iron, budget, look after diy, cars, work fulltime shift work and upto 2 of my days off are spent with my little girl while the wife does her 15 hours a week job

I feel the dogs body, no thanks or appreciation, we tried to swop role but she has no clue and to me I feel like I have all the stress, responsibility of our relationship, family she is just a passenger!

She is a great mum, I give her credit for that but our girl is easy so far, no issues with sleep, diet, health or behavior and mother in law helps out weekly.

I'm just tired and fed up, feel like I have to dependants not one! I felt lately like I could just walk out...

Would really welcome you're help and support guys...

I

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Help guys! 4 years 2 weeks ago #65533

  • Mojo
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Hi Madness

You certainly sound like you have your hands full! Have you tried to talk to your wife about how you're feeling?

I think you need some time out, by that I mean some you time, even if its an hour down the gym or a pint with friends....away from home and your responsibilities. If she's a great mum she can handle giving you a few hours off a week and it could do wonders for your relationship if you start to feel more positive about things.

There are some here that would swop places with you in a second, that's not to say you haven't got good reason to be feeling isolated, just that with a few tweaks and some minor changes you could get back on track.

Talking to your wife about how you feel is essential, can you arrange a babysitter and go out just the two of you. It's easier to talk and give your full attention to one another when your away from it for a while...a nice meal and a couple of glasses of wine, get relaxed and start talking.

If things don't improve then you could think about turning to couples counselling, here's a link to Relate, they offer help and support via email and text and directly.

www.relate.org.uk

Best of luck with it and keep talking.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Help guys! 4 years 2 weeks ago #65538

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relationships.dad.info/menu

As Mojo says, it's essential for you guys to communicate; I have posted a link to our relationship section above which might be of help.

Quality time for yourself and for each other can be hard to accommodate but very necessary and needs to be a priority, especially with young children.

A date night away from home if possible or if not, dedicated time at home for each other with no gadgetry or television can work wonders.

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Mum and Step Mum, supporting my partner through the Family Court maze. I feel passionately about children having a right to a relationship with both parents and am currently in training to be an MF.

Help guys! 4 years 2 weeks ago #65562

Hi There,

I agree with the above, you need some time for yourself but also some time to spend one on one with your partner, as sugested a night out in a quiet place so you can talk calmly without tempers getting raised.

Try and talk too you partner about how you feel, you may need to broach this in such a way that it doesn't sound like you are calling her lazy or placing all the blame on her else she is likely to just go on the defensive.

GTTS

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Help guys! 4 years 2 weeks ago #65565

Hey I can totally relate. Been there and talk about this with new dads almost everyday.

The big changes can cause a lot of strain on your relationship. Please do not worry it is absolutely normal. Like everyone says you need to keep talking, and allow yourself some time to share how you are coping. Juggling your new life together is only something you will manage if you are all aware of how to help.

I would recommend date night and lots of talk..

Please let us know how you get on and if you need to talk about it, we are always here.

And if you find it's a little difficult take a look at our "arguing better article - www.dad.info/157-advice-and-support/rela...-how-to-argue-better )

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Having worked with fathers, male carers and their children for over 14 years, I believe greatly in the value that fathers bring to their children and equally the value that children bring to their fathers.
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