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TOPIC: Screwed up again!!

Screwed up again!! 3 years 10 months ago #69102

  • Lewy77
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Well i think i had better say Hi all and sorry i have not been around, basically at the beginning of the year i buried my head in the sand and ignored a lot of people so all i can do is apologise sincerely for doing that especially to Slim and GTTS, you were both there for me when things were rough so i am so sorry for being an idiot!

Anyway met an amazing woman back in March but unfortunately she ended things a few weeks ago and it has devastated me but i have only myself to blame, i was so selfish in the relationship and she done all she could to make it work, i let her and the kids down so many times and when she needed me for support and to say that everything will be ok i was nowhere to be seen and if only i could turn the clock back, it has been made clear that she does not want me back even friends and family were saying she would be better off without me and they were right, the kids were amazing, so polite and well behaved obviously though they would have their moments and even the youngest called me 'daddy russ' which felt the best ever, as a result of this i am not ashamed to say i have seeked help and on Anti Depressants and been referred to a Counsellor as well, i just wished i could show her that i am going to change for the better, we spoke about marriage next year too and we even used to play together when we were very young which was a shock to find out, she was my first and only true love and may be soppy for saying this but i will not be with anyone else because she and the kids will always be a piece of my heart that will always be missed, just regret so much i could not see the signs earlier that i was pushing her away.

On another note though this Saturday (17th) i will be travelling to a certain part of the country to see...........my little boy after 20 months, it will be so emotional for me and quite worried as i think he will not know who i am after not seeing me for so long, he is talking and be so good to see how big he has got but it is just the thought that for a while he might not come near me as i will be a stranger to him and that will hurt at first but then i hope his mum will start to allow me to have him overnight because i am just so looking forward to having time on my own with him, i just told her at the end of the day lets put the past behind us, start afresh and show our little boy that we can be friends and amicable because that will do him so much good now and for the future so fingers crossed all goes ok but i am really crapping it to be honest, all i need now is for my ex to get back in touch and things will be perfect but if not then i have decided that there will be no woman and i will concentrate on building my relationship back up with my little boy.

Hope everyone is ok and all well, like i said i apologise for losing touch with people but i just stuck my head in the sand but i just wanted to get back in touch and share what has happened these last 10 months.

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Last Edit: by got-the-tshirt.

Screwed up again!! 3 years 10 months ago #69104

Hey dude glad your ok I'll reply later just off to work :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

Screwed up again!! 3 years 10 months ago #69107

Morning mate,
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Good to hear from you, it's a shame in in these circumstances though.
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You are much stronger now than you were so you can cope with this, and it's great you are seeing your son again, just take things very slowly with him and build up, don't be too shaken if he isn't close straight away this will only be natural, it is so good though that you are looking at being friendly with your ex for your sons sake.
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With regards to your recent break up, I would write her a letter explain you are getting help and that you can see how you behaved, don't ask for her to take you back, but instead ask for her to consider meeting up, in a few months when you have been through some more counselling sessions, so you can talk and see how you both feel about things, again don't put too much pressure on it, try and keep the thought of meeting up, light but focus more on how you have realised how you were with her and the kids and regret how you acted.
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Don't forget you still have my number so feel free to drop me a message off line.
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GTTS

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Screwed up again!! 3 years 10 months ago #69169

  • actd
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Nice to have you back here, but it's sad that you can't be on here with better news. GTTS has given good advice regarding the letter, and hope it works well. Good luck meeting your son again - it won't take long for him to remember you again.
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Screwed up again!! 3 years 10 months ago #69180

  • Lewy77
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Hey actd

With regards to the letter i have already been down that road and had no reply, i guess she has firmly closed that door shut as i have been blocked on whatsapp etc etc but as far as i am concerned it did not end on a bad note and i was very calm, there is more to this but will not say but lets just say many blokes would of gone nuts but i did not and walked away, no swearing or insults but i do wish i could get some answers from her about something but anyway as i previously said i made mistake after mistake and slowly pushed her away but only realised after it was too late, i do hope that by chance she stumbles across this site and see that i am changing my ways to be a better person all round and that a possibility could arise that she would be willing to give me another chance but deep down i dont think so.

Well in the meantime i will carry on with the tablets and talking to a professional because it will mean that i know where i got things wrong and that i will come out the other end a better person not only for my son but for myself also. I have posted a separate post on here regarding how today went with my little man .

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