TOPIC: i feel like im in a losing battle

i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 2 months ago #73723

Hi all

I put my foot down went to see the family. unfortunately afder 2 days of arguments and it getting some what vilant I started to pack my thing and leave .

as we both was going to hurt each other .

lucky it didn't realy come to it not bad anyway

but yes I packed my stuff and was ready to leave until she calmed down and spoke to me like a real person we are ok now but I have told her if it ever gets to how it did when we was at each others throats then I'm leaving and I can be here if I get to a point where I'm arguing and getting so mad that I can't control myself .

but a question if it does come to this that I leave . where do I stand with baby

thank you for all of your replies

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 2 months ago #73734

Hi There,
.
I think that you need to focus on staying together, of course you are going to think of the what ifs, but try and resolve the issues you have so that you can be a family.
.
I would maybe look at getting some couples counselling, this would give you both a safe place to sit and talk openly about the issues you have and hopefully come up with a plan to resolve some of them.
.
GTTS

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 2 months ago #73737

  • Mojo
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...in the bigger picture, at the point that you were packing to leave, she may have realised she has crossed a line trying to stop you seeing your family. Although it wasn't good that you were both close to becoming violent, you did the right thing by taking control of the situation and taking action to prevent any further escalation. She calmed down and you were able to talk, so something was achieved and you can hopefully build on that.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73809

its hard and we are still arguing , like today she started being funny with me afder work a song come on the radio and she started being funny saying well this is you , i look like another girl meaning my ex . so i said hang on why are you bringing her up she just said well listen to the song.

its getting perfetic and really getting on my T*Ts

how can i honestly stay cool when every 2 mins im being questioned or brought into an argument

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73810

Morning,
.
It really does sound like yur partner is going through a very hormonal stage, I know it's tough but stick with it try not to allow these comments to get to you, try and change the subject if you can.
.
GTTS

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73821

morning GTTS

last night we had a bit of a talk and i opend up a bit tbh told her a few things like me getting angry for one explainig that this isnt me and it kills me to get that angry but the arguments are just taking over and soon as we argue i straight away get angry.

we spoke about money and a very small bit about family.

maybe this is a turning point ?
im sure ill find out afder work at 7 when i take her to work

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73824

Morning,
.
I think talking with your partner when things are calm could be the key, hopefully you will turn a corner.
.
GTTS

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73844

Hello biggy119,

I'm pleased to hear you were able to talk with one another last night. Communication is so important, it means 50% of the time TALKING and 50% of the time LISTENING. Unfortunately a lot of people talk but do not listen. To be able to communicate is a wonderful thing, it helps a person to understand the other person. Their differences and worries can be expressed and problems can then be resolved. Arguing does not solve anything, it invariably gets out of hand and only serves to make matters worse. Make your self available to communicating (which I'm sure you do) but do not enter into arguing. I'm sure with patience and perseverance on your part, coupled with a tranquil manner she will be more able to talk calmly with you. It will also give her confidence and security (I think this is where the problem may lay).

I believe she may feel very insecure. I say this as she argued about you going to see your parents and in another post of yours about your Ex. I think she desperately wants to be loved, belong and feel included but doesn't know how to voice this and instead causes arguments about people (parents & Ex) whom she feels are close to you or were, she wants you to think as much of her as she feels you do about others in your life (past and present). I have no doubt you do love and care for her but I think her insecurity drives her to be "blind" to it. Communicating with her, a calm approach and a level headed attitude could work wonders. A little inexpensive treat now and then, plenty of reassurance and communicating properly should help to create a happier environment.

Stay true to yourself and keep your values but do not argue and get to the point where you get so angry and cannot control yourself, walk out of the house into the garden or go for a walk to cool down.

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73920

well today i ended up moving out afder arguments and being hit and called everything under the sun iv had enuff .

how much can i honestly put up with everything was ok for a week then it all started agen get out i dont want you all the rest saying i dont care im not intrested well iv got the bruzz now so im not taking no more crap iv had enuff stress , stress at home and stress with work only being able to get 4-6 hours sleep and then being woken up with arguments no

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73935

Hello biggy,

I am so sorry things have not worked out. You must feel very tired and disappointed.

Do you think she or you will change your mind and get back together again after you have rested and had a few days apart?

If you do not get back together have you thought about the baby regarding contact and how involved you want to be in his / her upbringing?

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Last Edit: by MotherofaFather.

i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73941

At the moment there is no sign from any of us if we want to be together .
But maybe this will come at a later stage .
And I have I want to be there as much a I can bit also I don't want to e taken for a fool like today we spoke and she still wants me to give her money for rent when I'm not there .
We did say at one point a week ago when we had an argument that I would have baby 3 or 4 times a week .

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i feel like im in a losing battle 4 years 1 month ago #73963

Hi There,
.
This is so sad to hear, but for your own sanity I think that moving out is the best option, I don't think you should pay rent while not living there, but maybe you can take a step back work out what you want and go from there, if you decide you want to still be with her, try living apart and go back to basics, take her out on dates, go round to hers, but leave at the end of the night to give each other some space, this way you will be able to see if things wil work without the pressures of being together all of the time.
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Anything advice you need just ask, or if you just want a chat either post here or send me a private message.
.
GTTS

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