TOPIC: Marriage break up

Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76546

Hi,
Really bad morning, made worse by me sending some stupid texts.
She replied by an email and said not to contact her via phone or text.
Just contact via email and only things about collecting my stuff etc.
Got some tablets from chemist which might help me sleep a bit, don't really want to go to docs, as I think I can handle this.
So its definitely over, time to move on. Back to no contact and looking after myself.
Thanks again for the support and kind words, I know I need to be a lot stronger and keep my focus on being positive that things will get better.

Goatjazz

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76550

Hi There,
.
The tablets from the chemist may help with your sleep, so fingers crossed.
.
If you think you can get through this without going to the doctors then that's great but just be careful that your not ignoring the signs that you need some extra help,
.
GTTS

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76555

Hi,
Yes thank you.
Feel like getting to this point is probably going to get me thru it all.
It will stop me being stupid.
Not sure if to delete her number or just leave it.
Have blocked facebook.
So its email contact only, and that's just to arrange to collect my last belongings, also have to sell my huge collection of vhs tapes, 3000+ which I was selling his ebay as a side business.
Not sure how I feel this afternoon, just very down I guess.
But I know I need to get my head together, and move on.
Just feel in limbo as waiting for my flat to become vacant, so can't go much here at my mums.
Any ideas what steps to take and anything I can do to make this less painful.
Cheers

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76558

Hi There,
.
When I seperated from my ex wife, I just stayed busy, like you I had to live at my folks place so just had one room, stacked up with all of my things, it's tough being in that room, so keep busy, as I said before join a gym, start going after work, you will be surprised at how quickly it becomes pattern and excersise becomes easier, it will help you feel better about your se;f and also help you sleep.
.
Also look for an app called Meetup, it isn't what you would think, it's not dating or anything dodgy, but it lists groups of people locally to you with all sorts of interests, you may find a group near that takes your interest and it would be a great way to spend some time and meet new people.
they have an app but heres a link to the site.
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www.meetup.com/find/?allMeetups=false&ke...nge=yes&sort=default
.
GTTS

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76561

Hi mate. Sorry to hear of your difficulties. Reading your posts I can see the fluctuation between feeling fairly positive and pretty down which is normal in the situation. I can identify the characteristics as they basically replicate what I went through. Personally I think you do need to go to the doctor, even just for a chat, there is no obligation to come out with pills if you don't want but equally don't refuse them due to pride like I did. I eventually succumbed and they are no cure but did give me a crutch whereby my despair lessened and I was slowly able to deal with daily life.

If you are not sleeping and sending texts at night then that suggests to me a chat is necessary and I would really encourage it.

It's not just for pills, I got referred to a listening service which I attended weekly. I carted around guilt it was all my fault. I told the truth and truly came to accept it wasn't all me after being listened to. The listener couldn't beleive some of the stuff I had put up with and slowly worked on me to convince me I wasn't the person I'd been programmed to think I was. It worked and I'd really recommend it. Just talking had a therapeutic effect, especially with a neutral person.

I was like a zombie but I got there. Good luck mate.

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76562

Many thanks to everyone for the advice and kind words.
Feeling better tonight, just going to try and focus on myself and my daughter.
Have contacted the British heart foundation asking if there is any volunteer work available. I had heart surgery three years ago.
Might be able to meet people and that will also get me out and about..... Maybe even do a charity run lol.
Anyway day off tomorrow so got a warfarin blood test and then got to make a few phone calls to companies to change address etc.
thanks again and so glad I found his site, it's great to chat and I will definitely be staying on here in the future to help other people and just to keep in touch with everyone. Its just nice to know people care and are willing to help.
Cheers goatjazz

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76574

Morning,
.
Hope you had a better night, and managed to get some sleep.
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As already said your days will be full of ups and downs, it's just natural.
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Charity work would be great to get you out, didi you look at the link i gave you for meet ups?
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GTTS

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76577

Morning all,

Better nights sleep, which is good.
Feeling ok this morning, just a bit flat, but got a few bits to do today, so will try to keep busy this morning then chill this afternoon.
Keep thinking about that holiday and is now really getting to me.
She is going with her daughter now, but I still have that time booked off work, so I know I am really going to struggle, thinking that should be me etc.
Don't really want to go away, want to save some money for when I move back to the flat, which will mean more bills etc.
It's going to be really tight with money, not on the best money at work.
I struggled before I meet the ex , so that's another worry.

Any advice regarding holiday and money.

Yes checked out the link thank you, will see what is local to me.
Goatjazz

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76578

Hi There,
.
Have you thought about the option of cancelling your weeks holiday from work? you could maybe then take that week when you move back into your flat to give you time to get sorted properly.
..
Otherwise maybe look at finding some agencu work for that week, so you get some extra money.
.
GTTS

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76583

Hi,
Had my blood test and done some shopping.
Made the decision to block the ex and her family on facebook completely, just for my own well-being.
Have spoken to some credit companies who I am in a payment arrangement with and told them my change of circumstances, that will be sorted when I move into flat, so one less worry.
Tenants phoned this morning, said that they looking for a new place, so hopefully won't be so long before I get my flat back.

So not bad morning, still feel rubbish but will carry on.
Going to ask work if I can move my holiday so that I can have it when I move into flat.

Any other advice would be good.
Cheers
Goatjazz

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76586

Hi Mate,
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Other than keeping busy, I can't really offer any other advice.
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I think it's a good idea to move your holiday till when you move as it will keep you busy when you should have been away and also give you more time to move.
.
GTTS

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Marriage break up 3 years 3 months ago #76608

Many thanks again to everyone for the advice and kind words.
As I said earlier,I have removed the ex from facebook, which already has made a difference to the way I am feeling, much better, no options to sneek a peek at things lol.
Back to work tomorrow, determined to be better and stronger.
Yes I know I will have ups and downs, but got to focus on my future.
I think once I am back in my flat, I will have more to do and things to keep me occupied.
Got some stuff for the flat already, so just need a few bits, but they can wait until I know the date of moving in.
Looking forward to getting things sorted and then maybe later get back to the dating game lol.
Just a quick note, have most of the dads who have been thru this stuff, now found a new love.....

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