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TOPIC: Talking to my children

Talking to my children 2 weeks 5 days ago #101402

  • Ferfer
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Hello all,

i would really like some advice please. I have not seen my two daughters for nearly 8 months now and I am due to see them soon which I am so excited for. I dont want bore you with all the details, but my wife has made up horrible accusations, all of which i have proven wrong and why I am now allowed to see them again.

My question is, what do I say to them if they have awkward questions. The eldest is 5 and the youngest is 2. I do not want to say that "mummy was horrible and would not let me see you" I have written them letters in the past, I do not know if they have been read to them. I know when I see them next, the first hour will be me crying and hugging them. I am scared about what their mum is telling them, i dont know if she is saying horrible things or if i am just away working. I do not know? I am so excited about seeing them, but I dont want them to think I have just left them for this long. they have no idea how hard I have fought for them, the money, time and stress that has been used! Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

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Talking to my children 2 weeks 5 days ago #101423

hi,

i would say don't worry about the ex. during the time with your children, try and forget about her completely. its just you and the kids there. just look forward to enjoying time and bonding with them. get them toys/sweets. read a book with them. ask them what they've been up to. it might seem a bit cold/awkward at first. but gradually as time goes by, your bond and relationship will get stronger.

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Talking to my children 2 weeks 4 days ago #101433

  • Devo
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Hi Ferfer.. I'm on the journey as well.. I've not seen my children in 3and half months.. My wife also made false allegations again. (same as in 2012). Only this time, I've been hit with a non molestation order against me.. I'm in Court next week for my child arrangements order to be heard.. And still allegations come.. I'm desperate to see my children like you are. Shes driven past me in her car, (money she took from emptying our bank account). I've caught a glimpse of my children, but had to look the other way, so my wife can't accuse me of something else.. The pain is horrible, we just need to keep going, and one day get to see our beautiful children.. Take care.. Devo.

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Talking to my children 1 week 9 hours ago #101638

  • Ferfer
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Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to say that i saw my two girls for the firs time in 8 months and it was wonderful. It had to be at the maternal grandparents home, but I dont care. My girls are 5 and 2, I had feared the youngest would have forgotten about me, by the second I walked through that door, they both were over the moon to see me and came running towards me for big hugs.

My eldest told me over and over how much she misses me and loves me *hopefully this makes the grand parents realize how spiteful their mum is being) we talked about her school and her friends, it was like i had never been away.

My eldest also informed me about mummy's new best friend (i wont say his name) but it is the same name as the person I suspected she was having an affair with at her work. That does not bother me in the slightest.

I feel so much happier and relaxed since seeing them as I was worried that they had been poisoned against me. I will see them again in two weeks, this will continue until the final hearing in December

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Talking to my children 1 week 6 hours ago #101641

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Hi Ferfer. I'm so pleased for you. I long to see my 4 children again. I'm on the journey now only 4 months in, and I've got a long way to go yet. My wife has changed into a woman who I no longer know. It's all so heart breaking for me. I've not seen my children in 4 months. Next court hearing end of November, a scott schedule, of which I need to answer, all her lies and still the allegations continues. I'm so broken inside. But I put one foot in front of the other everyday, as I know I will see my children again. I'm so pleased for you mate. Well done!! Devo...

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Talking to my children 6 days 12 hours ago #101681

  • actd
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Excellent news ferfer - keep it about the children and hopefully it will get better.

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Talking to my children 6 days 8 hours ago #101686

  • Ferfer
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Thanks Devo, my wide is the same, she has turned in to someone I hardly recognise. She too has made up accusations towards me, but she lies about things that can be easily proven. for example, she told CAFCASS that she has called the police out on me three times and had me arrested. She did not seem to think they would check on this, they did and put in the report that the police have no records of any call outs from her and my record is squeaky clean. She also said i refused to attend mediation, when in fact it was her. I mentioned in court that I submitted my mediation certificate with the C100 form, which they confirmed for me to her embarrassment.

I understand that based on the accusations she has made that the court and CAFCASS have to do the checks to be on the safe side, but it is just frustrating that I miss months with my girls because of lies. Since this, I have a lot more belief that they will allow me the contact I want and deserve.

Believe me, i know how much it hurts right now. But it will get better and you will see them. Do everything by the book and you will be all good.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Devo

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Talking to my children 6 days 8 hours ago #101687

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Thanks, actd.

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Talking to my children 5 days 15 hours ago #101701

Hi Ferfer,
I have just read through your post and am delighted that your time together was wonderful - they missed you!
Always remember that your girls need you so focus on that and ignore all the other negatives and keep being the great Dad that you are :)

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Trained Parent Support Worker and Dad to 3 lively children
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