Sounds to me like your wife is not "feeling" particularly loved or special at the moment - and as she is clearly not a "Words" person (given her propensity to use words carelessly at times) - is struggling to express her real feelings (hence the references to controlling!)
I would recommend you take a bit of time to understand what makes her feel special and then do those things. We wrote a course on this a while ago. If you're interested, you can check it out here FREE. It will take you about 90mins to go through fully:
If you do go through it, would love to hear how you get on!