TOPIC: Wife says it’s over

Wife says it’s over 6 days 22 hours ago #110884

If you are looking at having son half of the time shared care he would have to have his own bedroom.
If you are getting on reasonably well with ex. best arrangement would be 2 midweek nights weekly and every other weekend. Due to your son been 10 you can pretty much agree most schedules . some parents do 5-2-5-2.
Depending on how far school is i suppose he isnt too far off been able to go school himself and return home.
You may take into account if you can do half of the time if you was to return to office all of a sudden and if 10/12 nights out of 28 works better
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Last Edit: by warwickshire1.

Wife says it’s over 6 days 21 hours ago #110886

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Sharing school holidays looks like it could be problematic. I’d need to take 35 days holiday a year just to have half the holidays.

I know she’d raise concerns about childcare as my go to would be my parents who haven’t seen us in 6 years due to an argument - my mum kept trying to give son a sip of beer at a family bbq. We asked her not to but she laughed it off and persisted anyway. Ex also knows that my dad was violently abusive towards my mum and family pet when I was a kid. Never towards me and my siblings though. They also live over half an hour away and I don’t drive.

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Wife says it’s over 6 days 21 hours ago #110887

Ok, you can see why your ex is asking you how this will work. You will need to when you propose a schedule have set days and times. I would after what you wrote not use your parents for childcare as this will upset your ex partner and you have not seen them for 6 years and that is very irresponsible what they done.

What are your actual work hours and days you work. A return to office may happen eventually albeit probably not for a at least mid 2021 at earliest. having a week less in summer holidays could be an option
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Wife says it’s over 6 days 21 hours ago #110888

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I work Monday to Friday 9-530 and using public transport my commute would be roughly 30-40 minutes each way.

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Wife says it’s over 6 days 21 hours ago #110889

shared could be very difficult . It may be worth proposing 2 contact arrangement suggestions to ex.

1 whilst you are working from home and 1 if you was to return to office.

Whilst working from home you could perhaps do tuesday and wednesday overnight every week and every other weekend fri + sat overnight ..this would be 12 nights out of 28 or drop off to school monday if u wanted to make it 14 out of 28

When returning to office every other weekend pick up after work friday drop off to school monday and maybe a wednesday every week pick up maybe 5pm from mums.

The last schedule should be workable if you speak to office and would involve them letting u start work after school drop off monday every 2 weeks and finishing slightly earlier on wednesdays and starting slightly later on a thursday morning weekly. you would probs need to finish work about 430 every wednesday and start work 930ish every other monday.
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Wife says it’s over 2 days 21 hours ago #110951

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Does your ex work full time too?

Most working parents have to find childcare in the school holidays, so you wouldn't be any different.

If you were both working full time, you would have to agree how the children are looked after in the holidays anyway.

If you work full time and she doesn't, perhaps you could suggest a different arrangement for holiday times?

Here are a couple of examples of how shared care can work on a monthly schedule at 50/50 or almost that ratio;

Option 1
week 1 with mother
week 2 with father
week 3 with mother
week 4 with father

Option 2
week 1 wed with father
week 2 thu, fri, sat, sun with father
week 3 wed with father
week 4 thu, fri, sat, sun with father.

Hope that helps somewhat.

You do need to really think this through if you want your ex to have confidence in reaching agreement with you

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Wife says it’s over 2 days 18 hours ago #110963

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She works full time but her parents provide childcare after school and during school holidays. They won’t do that for me.

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