Hi, Firstly, i would like to apologise for undoubtedly rewriting an age old question but any guidance you can offer would be very much appreciated.
I have been living with my fiancé for 18 months in a home that we bought together. We took out a £300k mortgage plus had £240k savings from me and £35k savings from my partner.
Unfortunately, she has issue me with a NMO citing my anger, short temper, mood swings and worse to all, mental abuse towards her. I do not contest this as I accept I have an issue for which I am seeking help. I have never raised my hand to her or physically abused her in any way. The problems we were having are due to what's going on inside my head, nothing else.
I am due to attend court next week to deal with the NMO and my question is... Can I simply accept what has been said as I don't want any more hurt and tears and would rather accept the fact that I must stay away from her for 12 months?
Secondly, if i do agree to everything (while not admitting to anything of course), is it as simple as that which in turn won't affect how we finally come to divide the property, assets, finances etc in the future or will not contesting the NMO put me in a bad light for this next stage as well?
Hope this makes sense and thanks for your anticipated help,
Hi, sorry to hear about your problems and your impending court hearing. Yes, you can accept the non mol but you can ask the Judge to make it without any findings of fact. That means you're not admitting to anything and the court hasn't accepted what has been said in her statement as true. Alternatively you could offer to accept undertakings which are a promise to the court rather than an order of the court but she may not like this. The non mol is a civil matter, not criminal and there is no reason why it should affect the distribution of assets.
The fact you are not married makes a difference in your favour as whilst she can still argue for a better equity split due to abuse etc it will be difficult.
The key thing will be whether you arranged a trust deed upon purchase to confirm and protect your interests? This allows both parties to set out how any existing and future equity is to be distributed in the event of sale and would reflect your proportionate contributions.
In the absence of one the courts would look at what you intended. (your original conveyancing solicitor should hold records as to who contributed what)..
If you do not have one then legal advice is needed as to the next steps.
Thanks for the reply Champagne, I went for an undertaking but she refused it point blank so now i'm in this for the long haul I guess, gathering proof of the funds we've both put into this which favours me 87% to her 13%. Regards, Dave
Thanks Daddyup, unfortunately, no trust deed was signed although i remember broaching that difficult subject at the beginning of the relationship as i felt my 87% to her 13% financial input made it seem somewhat risky, how i wish i had persevered. She simply scoffed at the idea of signing a document and to protect the relationship at such an early stage I felt it best not to push the subject. Look where that got me! I have since applied for a TR1 from my original conveyancer as someone else also stated that this might be one document (within section 10) that is the next best thing to a Trust Deed as it proves how much we entered into this relationship with. Thanks for your help, Dave
Sounds like to me she is doing everything she can to get at least 50-50 . Your ex has probably had legal advice . I wouldnt be so hard on yourself . most of your behaviors are probably normal as you split up and like lots of relationships that dont work out people act out of character and are hurt etc. Now you need to fight your corner through the legal channels and make sure you dont get left with a bad deal.
I am pretty certain that where you put so much in and the fact you arent married and that you only together for less than 2 years you would be entitled to more than 50-50 in my opinion
- Not married
- No children involved
- Cohabiting only for less than 2 years
You would usually each walk away with what you have put in given the above points. As mentioned in prior post, you need to prove the contribution that you made (i.e. the money that you brought into the relationship)
Are you still living together now? I don't understand the approach of your partner; surely if someone is subjected to such a level of abuse (claimed) that they need to obtain a NMO, then why would they still be living in the same property as the alleged abuser?