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TOPIC: Its not at easy as it sounds

Its not at easy as it sounds 4 months 1 week ago #92945

My name is Arthur.I have been step dad for past 8 years.Biological father never saw her daugter,just disappeared when she was born.She dosent know that im her step dad.I have also another daughter age 5.Unfortunately my relathionship ended after two attempts.We moved on with our lives.Im still dad for booth of my daughters and im spending time with them whenever possible,including overnight stay.After second attempt to fix our relationship i was living with my ex for past year but as it wasnt working i have to move out.Shortly after i have recieved letter from CMO telling me they are increasing my child maintainance to 350 pound a month(70 pounds increase)This is because i work hard and do some overtime.I have tried to asked for review of my case stating that my overtime is not guaranted and it will be cut down very soon.They rejected my appeal.They asked me for two payslip with lower wages so they can review the case again.I did call them and ask them why you take wages from last year into account when making calculation,but when im telling you that i have been living with my kids,taking them to school,spending time with them,paying child maintainance for over year that dosent matter.That can not be taken into account.I can cut my overtime but as single parent i still have bills to pay.After conversation with CMO i feel that im forced to work overtime,spent less time with kids.Dosent matter that you are trying your best for your kids.What does matter you need to pay.Please share you opinion.

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Its not at easy as it sounds 4 months 1 week ago #92953

  • Mojo
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Hi there

It can seem like that sometimes. Doesnt the bio father of your step daughter pay maintenance? This might be a solution, although I understand that it might be difficult for you, as you're her Dad in every way that counts.

Perhaps you could speak to the mother about your situation, ask her to close the CMS claim so that you can reach a private arrangement. She must understand that you are paying for a child that someone else should be paying for, and although you take on the responsibility
Freely, there should be give and take on this.

Best of luck
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Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Its not at easy as it sounds 4 months 1 week ago #92981

  • actd
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I presume you aren't paying maintenance for your step daughter - you aren't liable for that unless you actually adopted her.
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Its not at easy as it sounds 4 months 1 week ago #92984

Im only paying maintainance for my daughter.Other father is paying when he wants and he made him self employed so he is avoiding CMS as they can only check what he decleared on his self assessment.I have tried to come to an agreement but my ex is not willing to do that.Im also paying for the past few years for sky tv for kids so they can watch some tv and few other memberships for kids.Im doing my best but my ex still is telling me how greatful i should be that she give me chance to be a step father.Really.

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