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TOPIC: Stepparent - do we matter...?

Stepparent - do we matter...? 9 months 1 week ago #102940

I am/was stepdad to a stepdaughter(14) for just over 11 years, with her dad passing from cancer when she was just 1, and my involvement with her life since she was 2.5.. over those years a bond had built, an example attached of where she saw me, and obviously reciprocated..

from involvement in school selection, to standing in a cold wet, muddy field while she played football, we have done as much as any father, daughter would..

since seperation, from unmarried Ex, I have seen the stepdaughter 10 days total since June 1 2018, and not once this year, boxing day was my last time, all contact cut, yet I have biological daughter just 4, who I would hope would enjoy time between myself and sister.. who I have been seeing 50/50..

the Ex has cut relationship with Stepdaughter...

so the question is 6 solicitors advised me to file for Parental responsibility as a person of significance to the child, a judge in the hearing again echo'd those sentiments, I filed the C100, but in court dismissed in about 3min as I had not jurisdiction.....

now Im confused, it seems the law says no! and blocks it, but the law says also that the interests of the child are paramount...

anyone got any ideas...?

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Stepparent - do we matter...? 9 months 1 week ago #102946

hi,

so who is your step daughter with now?

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Stepparent - do we matter...? 9 months 1 week ago #102954

Stepdaughter has always been resident with mum, this was never looked to be changed - she has school, friends, an element of dealing with mothers split from myself etc, and good or bad the mother is the mother. There was simply expectation that relationship of such strong bond could, even should continue if that is what the stepdaughter wished, the legal solution was to, secure as best as possible, relationship without intervention from mother, ultimately give the child the voice, with her dad passed away at 1, I felt she deserved an opinion.


The daughter(4), same mother as stepchild, I have been seeing 50/50, for just over a 1.5 years, but stepdaughter I have seen for 10 days from June 2018 to December 2018 - then nothing, The judge in court said the relationship between half sisters is so important because the half sisters will out live the parents - I was actually told this in court, and told the father is less important to biological daughter than the half-sister..

so as it stands the half-sister relationship is of such importance, that it can be retained with the mother, but those children will never have the right to there time with myself together, and that it seems is acceptable.. In law the child's best interests are paramount to the child, but here they are simply ignored.



it takes a particular kind of person to be a stepparent, its not for everyone, not all can love a child as there own, but for 11 years this is what I gave, just that, a stepchild was given a childhood of love, support, experiences, memories, all the things that define us....

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Stepparent - do we matter...? 9 months 6 days ago #102993

I suspect it was because you weren't married and never had an agreement that you had parental responsibility when you were together the judge dismissed your case.

You could get representation and appeal, or simply wait 2 years when it's up to the girl herself if she wants a relationship with you. The fact your own daughter is much younger do will need someone to facilitate contact for at least the next 7 years probably will help.

I know ex step-parents, both married and unmarried, who have relationships with their former step children. The former step-children are all over 16. Most, but not all, have the relationship due to being a parent of their half-siblings.

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Stepparent - do we matter...? 9 months 6 days ago #103000

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My children are now aged 21 to 30, but they still have a brilliant relationship with their step mother, even though she and I are divorced. I'm more than happy about that as she was a much better mother to them than their birth mother ever was.

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