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TOPIC: looking for help

looking for help 3 years 4 months ago #70316

  • gordy71
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My 15 year old son has recently went off the rails, his school grades have dropped dramatically, he is not attending school choosing to hang out with other kids playing truant. Something has happened that he wont tell us about saying things like 'we cant help him' and 'no one can keep a secret'.

His mother and I although divorced are doing everything we can to support him and help him but he is determined to give up on school, not sit his exams and just wants to sit about all day.

His mum and I are at a total loss as to how to help him, school are not much help, we have had him to see the GP to see about mental health issues but they have not been very helpful. The disruption is having an affect on all of our lives, especially his younger brother.

Has anyone got any ideas as to what I can do next?....he has always been a good boy, never been in trouble but the last 6 weeks have been like living in a battle zone.

thanks in advance.

G.

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looking for help 3 years 4 months ago #70335

  • actd
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It might be worth asking your GP if he can refer your son for counselling - or ask you son who he would prefer to confide in, on the basis that it's confidential and they don't have to tell your without your son's permission. He needs to speak to someone - it's a matter of finding out who. Might also be worth having a word with Relate, and possibly paying for an initial meeting.

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looking for help 3 years 4 months ago #70348

Hi Gordy

Thank you for reaching out. Having supported a lot of boys like your son I appreciate what you are going through.

I would suggest speaking to youth programme, particularly one that supports young people who have experienced parent separation or divorce

What you are seeing in your son is very common of children who experience separation/ divorce.

Remind him that you both love him very much and that he is not the cause of the separation/ divorce.

I am so pleased to hear that you and his mother are working together on this, it helps.

Spend some time with him doing some of the things he liked to do, do less talking and more activity, which will then give him the confidence to tell you what is really going on.

I would suggest spending special "quality time" with the boys separately and then making sure you also spend some time with them together. This has really got to be their time.

Private message message me the area you are in and I will look up some places for you to go to.

You have to be persistent and consistent, you are already doing something recognising that there is a problem.

Keep talking to us...

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Having worked with fathers, male carers and their children for over 14 years, I believe greatly in the value that fathers bring to their children and equally the value that children bring to their fathers.
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