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TOPIC: doing whats best for my son

doing whats best for my son 6 years 10 months ago #18114

Hi everyone,
im Michael and am new to this site.
i have read a lot of the messages on here and although i am in a better situation then most, i wanted to get other Dad's opinions and some proper advice on my situation.
i have a son who is nearly 4 and his mother and I are divorced after she had an affair. we have a routine where i have him 6 nights out of 14 and have 50/50 care for him.
this has been the case for a number of years but he is starting school near me soon so we changed his routine to stay at my house every night so i get him to school on time as his mother cant drive and is a 45 minute journey away by busses and trains at best.
we signed a timetable that we drew up but has now changed her mind saying her live in boyfriend is going to take her to drop him every morning she has him early in the morning. other then her being on benefits and breaking the law with her partner living there, i am not too happy about the change so was seeking advice.
she asks my me to have my son at least 2/3 times a month on her nights or if i cant, she asks my mum to have him.
am i being unreasonable?

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Re: doing whats best for my son 6 years 10 months ago #18123

Hi there and welcome to Dad.info

I do have sympathy for you and I would be fed up too but I certainly wouldn't do too much to rock the boat as your ex may take it out on you by not allowing you access etc.

This doesn't mean you have to accept everything but I would pick your fights carefully - you sound like you have great access and you spend quality time with your son.

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Re: doing whats best for my son 6 years 10 months ago #18145

Hi There,

I would allow this to happen and play the long game on this, The live in boyfriend may be happy to do this at the moment but for how long?

When the mornings are freezing and wet, he may not want to be bothered and if you accept this with the back up of if anything changes let me know and we can revert back to the original plan it may well work in your favour.

Just a different view.

Darren

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I'm not a legal proffesional and don't have any legal experience other than going through court myself. but offer my experience to help others

Re: doing whats best for my son 6 years 10 months ago #18218

Sounds tough mate. Quick question, how is he breaking the law by being there?

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Re: doing whats best for my son 6 years 10 months ago #18221

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...I should think his ex is probably on benefits and claiming as a single parent. Once a boyfriend/partner moves into the home it is classed as co-habiting and the amount of benefit paid would change. If the boyfriend/partner is working, then depending on the amount of wages going into the household, entitlements to benefit could stop altogether.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
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