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TOPIC: Who Should be called DAD???

Who Should be called DAD??? 5 years 4 months ago #41296

Hi Everyone

I have a tender subject that has upset me this weekend!!!
The mother of my daughter left me for her ex two weeks into my Daughters life.
I have come to terms with it.... Even after all the hurt things said by her and her ex
like him saying 'she has two days now.' On our first meeting.

Like I said I have come to terms with her haven to dads now. I spoke to my ex and tried to get it sorted early on the matter of what everyone was going to be called. I was thoughtful of her new partners feeling after she said that he would be just 'His name'. I said that he will be a huge figure in her life so why not call him pops, you know something less unpersonal.

I picked up my Daughter this weekend and her new partners sister called him daddy in front of my daughter, who is now a year and a half.
I was so hurt.

It feels like they don't give a crap about my feelings and who I am in my daughters life.

I don't know how to deal with it.
Any Advice?
does any one know any websites that can back up what I am saying.
As I feel it is confusing for a child to call two people the same name.

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Who Should be called DAD??? 5 years 4 months ago #41312

Hi,

I can empathize with how you are/were feeling. I hate the idea of my boy calling another man dad, but he is almost six now and we split up when he was 4 so he has known me as dad.

That being said, i do think it is spiteful that your ex has introduced this man as her dad. I don't know what your visitation is like but what ever they are you are her dad, this other guy is not.

I suppose its the difference between Dad and Father at the end of the day. My son has had 4 fathers since me and my ex split, but only one dad - luckily that has been me.

My sympathies, sorry if this upsets you. I mean no offence in anything i say.

Vaz

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Who Should be called DAD??? 5 years 4 months ago #41336

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It's totally understandable that you should feel hurt by this. I think you should talk to the mother about it and ask for her to have a word with the sister.

I think it was very generous of you to be sensitive to her new partners feeling and make the concession about calling him pops. It's not unreasonable to ask for the same thoughtfulness to be returned to you.

That aside I'm sure that your little girl loves you and knows you are her daddy, there is something special between a father and daughter ...just keep on being the great dad that I'm sure you are and you will see as she gets older that she will return your love a hundred times over!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Who Should be called DAD??? 5 years 4 months ago #41421

It's difficult, because she doesn't speak yet.
It is really eating me up in side.
I think maybe I should email them so I have it on record, rather than a face to face chat.
As the only time i see them is on hand overs.

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Who Should be called DAD??? 5 years 4 months ago #41438

I totally understand where you're coming from...

After my ex & her partner went away for a week with my daughter, my ex & her partner got engaged on this holiday. When I picked my daughter the weekend after, she said "I have 2 Daddy's" - my daughter is a very intelligent 3 year old, and I told her that she only has 1 Daddy & 1 "partners name." As she only has 1 Mommy & 1 "my partners name" - we've never once asked/told my daughter to call my partner Mommy.

I got a message after dropping my daughter back off, that I had upset her partner because my daughter wasn't going to refer to said partner as Daddy. Not only was I upset by my daughters original comment of having 2 Daddy's (not that it was heard fault, she's only 3), I was now angry that my ex was more concerned about her partner not being called Daddy!! I would totally understand my daughter calling her partner Daddy if I wasn't in my daughters life; but I am.. I see her EVERY weekend without fail & I give maintenance to the ex. I explained this & (I hope) they've accepted this - well at least I know my daughter has, I haven't heard her say Daddy "partners name" again..

I say stand your ground if you're still a strong part of your son/daughters life!

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