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TOPIC: Contact completely cut off now

Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61914

  • Gian
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Since mediation failed and ex knows that I filled in c100 all contact has been cut off. No replies to texts requesting contact and the court hearing will probably be weeks away. Is there anything I can do? Or do I have to with for hearing......the effect on my daughter will be bad for her but ex doesn't seem to care about that.

Will her behaviour be seen in bad light by the court? If I was a judge it would be!

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Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61915

  • Mojo
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Unfortunately this happens far too often once court papers are filed. You can try writing a more formal letter to your ex to request that she reinstates contact as this is in the best interests of your child. Remind her that courts consider that the child has the right to have both parents fully involved in their life and it is for this reason alone that you have felt it necessary to pursue court action once mediation had failed. Perhaps suggest meeting at a play centre or having one of your family members supervise the visit...give her some options.

You could suggest contact at a contact centre, although you shouldn't have to, but seeing your daughter at a centre is better than not seeing her at all.

It's unlikely the court will pay much attention to her behaviour tbh...I think they are far too used to it sadly.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61919

  • Gian
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Thank you Mojo

i have thought about a letter but fear this may be construed as harassment......I am an LIP but would it be ok to get a lawyer just to write her a letter? I don't want to confuse the court by saying I have no lawyer acting for me and then sending her a solicitors letter...The first letter did not get a reply so I doubt the second one would....It is so painful to be cut off from your child in this way and yet you say the court will not be swayed by her behaviour. It should be seen as child abuse

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Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61921

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You could get a solicitor to write to her as a one off, but is that likely to be any more effective?

Now that court proceedings are underway it's important to build up a paper trail of all events. If you want to be able to show the court that you have tried hard to reach agreement with your ex in a calm and reasonable manner, or to show that you are putting the needs of your child at the centre of it all, then writing letters is a good way to do that...you are now building your case and everything you do is to that end.

Now court proceedings have started, you should send a copy of all correspondence concerning the case to the court for filing. If you decide to write to her you could mention that you will also be sending a copy of the letter to the court for filing as procedure dictates. This may also deter her from trying to use the letter as some sort of evidence of harassment.

Does she have a solicitor? It might be better to communicate through them if you are concerned about possible allegations of harassment.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61942

Hi Gian,

Unfortunately - as Mojo has said - this happens all too often, once the steps towards court are taken.
Usually it is an attempt to regain control of the situation - "see, I will stop contact if you go to court. I can stop your contact whenever I want" etc etc.

Hold firm, and know that whilst it is difficult in the interim, you are doing what is best in the long run for both you and your child.

Now that you have applied to the court, ensure that any communication is documented (email, letter, text etc) so that it can be referenced if necessary during proceedings. I personally wouldn't waste the money on a solicitor sending a letter, purely because it is unlikely to have any impact.
The solicitor will just say the same as you, but charge you for the privilege.

One thing I will say - as it happens all too often - don't be worried about being LIP.
Never take what your ex's solicitor says as gospel, and if they offer you contact that you feel is not satisfactory, do not be afraid to raise a concern and attempt to negotiate for more.
Many of the guys (and girls) on this forum have represented themselves (myself included) against an ex with a solicitor, and come out on top.

Just research what you need to do, use this forum as a knowledge base - and if you aren't sure, ask the questions on here :)
Without this forum, and the wonderful and helpful people on it, I would've really struggled to get to the finish line!

Keep your chin up, document everything, and whenever you get offered anything ask yourself "Is this good enough for my child?"

All the best,

BD.
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Contact completely cut off now 5 years 7 months ago #61949

Try not to worry this can and will be sorted out 90% of the dads on here have had exactly the same happen to them and the ex's always act the same try writing once more I wouldn't bother with a solicitor they are expensive and more than likely wined the ex up even more if she doesn't reply then you are just going to have to hold out until the first hearing, trust me I know it's hard been stopped from seeing your child I don't know how I managed for 1 month without seeing her never mind 9 months in total, I know it's hard but you may have to grim and bear it try and take your mind off things as you will do your own head in thinking about it all the time, try anything to distract yourself from the situation you need to be in tip top condition to fight you are doing everything right and you can't really do anymore you just have to play the game and you will get there :)
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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)
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