I am a returning member, I was a member about 6 years ago and over time I have managed to lose/forget my log in details.
when I was about before I was fighting to keep my daughter living me to save her from being further harmed by her older half brother. I eventually won the case and she has lived with me ever since and things were going as well as can be until about 2 months ago when my ex started drinking and getting violent around my daughter. my daughter then got scared to go visit her mum and to the point my daughter has gone to school and told a teacher everything. the school have now reported it to social services as that my ex has been mentally and emotionally abusing my her. we are now back in court because I needed the contact order amended, but it looks set to be a full blown case again.
we had a Caffcass report done last Wednesday, which made for some very interesting reading to say the least! without going into all the detail, my ex has accused me of hitting her over ten years ago, which on my children's lives never happened. and she has tried to flip it all around saying I'm the one who has being doing all the abusing.
what I'm really asking is, will I get to have my say on the allegations? I do have proof to prove that none of it is true, but I'm worried the judge wont give me a chance to give my say.
sorry to go on, but we are due in court Tuesday and its stressing me out some what. thank you for time!!
I can't see that the court would be interested in an allegation that's now 10 years old, wasn't reported at the time (so I would have thought a judge would have doubts about the truth of it), isn't relevant to the current situation, and your daughter has been living with you happily for some time. As a matter of interest, how old is your daughter now?
Thank you for the reply, its made me feel a little better already!
My daughter is now nine years old and has been with us since she was three. She's about to start counselling as a result of what her mum has put her through.
With all the evidence from the school and accompanying reports from Social Services, I doubt you have anything to worry about.
Courts and CAFCASS are used to allegations being made to deflect from the truth, but their duty of care to your child means they have to investigate them.
Did she bring the current allegations up in the previous court case? If she did, they must have been dealt with then, and you were still given residence. If she didn't, then you must ask the questions why she didn't bring them up during that case.
You will get to have your say, you should be asked to file a statement at some point. At the next hearing you can ask permission to file evidence, Take it with you on Tuesday and let the court know you have it and would like to file it as evidence. Take copies, when filing any paperwork with the court, you should also give a copy to the other party.
You can prepare a brief position statement, no more than two pages, to tell the court of any developments, such as your daughter now needing counselling.
If your daughter has been with you for 6 years with absolutely no problems, it's highly unlikely that will change. Hold your head up,and just present yourself as the loving and responsible father that you are. Keep everything about your child, rise above the nastiness and keep your daughter best interests at the heart of your case.
I really appreciate the positive feedback, I'm in a better frame of mind than I was on Friday :-)
I'm putting together a small statement, backed with evidence to prove that what she has said isn't true.
The sad thing is, we were only put back in this situation because of my ex's behavour whilst drunk and now shes trying to turn it all around on my and my wife. I just cant believe how nasty some people can be!
all went better than expected, I got to have my say with Cafcass and completely agreed with me on nearly all the issues and agreed with my recommendations. my ex surprised us with a barrister which I have no idea how she could afford to pay for one! but our Mackenzie Friend was amazing, she talked me through everything and in the court room helped by reminding me about things I missed when talking. I completely recommend one!
the only thing is that I find it very strange that her barrister seemed very unprofessional, got very "flappy in the court room" when trying to argue with me and when he send over the court order today, he had no address and a yahoo email. is that normal?
Well done, it was plain that you had a strong case, made all the stronger by an efficient and capable MF.
It is strange that the Barrister gave no address...if he is a direct access barrister and not attached to a Chamber, that might be the reason. If you’re happy with the preparation of the court order I wouldn’t worry...you could always contact the court office to see if they have an address, I would have thought he would need to supply them with one.