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TOPIC: Partner doesn't like my child

Partner doesn't like my child 8 months 1 week ago #93694

Hello I have a child that's 7 and a partner who I've been with for 6 years

My 7 year old it's been a struggle with my x throughout till now court stopped seeing controlling just generally a nasty person. Anyone who's rear my other posts will no.

My partner at the start was good sorta tried being step mum ect but over the years my ex broke it down controlled had ago told her shes not basically made it impossible. I didn't see my 7 year old for a year due to my ex and court and more reasons my 7 year old got turned against us to the point it made our current child become investigated ect
I fought got my 7 year old back have every other weekend ect

Bur my partner doesn't like her. She doesn't make it obvious to have be nasty ect but she's told.me sue doesn't want to be step mum or anything more then when she comes she comes for me noone else she will do all the basics bur not sorta wanting to bound she just wants our child and my eldest is there for me.

I spoke to her and she said she doesn't care if she seems nasty but it went to far for her to want to bother.
My 7 year old got used against us when we had issues with our child we had to go to court via care proceedings to fight to keep her due to medical negligence which was proved and found complely innocent but my child was interviews by police and my e told her to say things so my current partber is very bitter towards them.

My question is what do I do. Has anyone else had a child who they have come knowing there partier doesn't really like them I feel so mean Hut I can understand at the same time.

Any help advice would he appreciated. My partber isn't mean to her or refuses to buy cloths ect she just sometimes doesn't like her near our current child as my ex I very dirty doesn't brush her teeth generally poor hygiene which comes with my 7 year old
Thabks again

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Partner doesn't like my child 8 months 1 week ago #93705

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That's such a sad situation for you, I can understand it from both sides. Your partner must have been incredibly hurt, she nearly lost her own child because of it.

I really can't offer much advise, at least she is doing the basics at the moment and hopefully with time she may mellow.

I would try and make your weekend with your child about the two of you, your child will benefit and your partner won't feel pressured into taking on a role she feels uncomfortable with. Time is a good healer.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Partner doesn't like my child 8 months 1 week ago #93721

Thankyou for your reply I really do appreciate it it's a very tricky situation but I think I should see it for what it is at the moment and make sure she has a nice time when she visits. Just so hard to turn off the defensive side when it comes to my child but as long as it's not obvious to her at the moment I.hope it improves

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Partner doesn't like my child 8 months 1 week ago #93722

Also sorry for the countless spelling mistakes I type to fast lol

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Partner doesn't like my child 8 months 1 week ago #93775

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No worries... hopefully you can find a way through it all, but I think you have the right attitude towards it, if you're mellow about it, it should help your partner work it out for herself.

All the best
The following user(s) said Thank You: Lostinblac

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DadTalk Moderator...

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I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 4 weeks ago #96391

hello update since then. my partner doesn't like my daughter going around her family anymore her mum ect. as her mum's full on hugging kissing ect with my child and she says it's weird.

she wants to separate our life. with our child to my daughter who visits and says she comes to see me and my other child not to see all her family ect.

obviously I get defensive and that. she says my daughter already has a family as she sees mine and my exes and has loads of people so why does she need to be involved with the little family we have.

I don't see any of my family so I basically have no-one of my own.


my question is what should I do kick off or just separate it all. she still does basic when she's here food gifts ect but she doesn't like her because of all the stuff but she does all the basics for me.

what do I do agree then just separate them all or kick up a fuss which makes her even more annoyed.

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Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 4 weeks ago #96401

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You’re between a rock and a hard place really, with no easy solutions here.

It’s seems that time isn’t improving things, as she wants to put more barriers up. As much as I can understand, I do think as the adult, your partner is being a little unreasonable and sounds a bit jealous if I’m honest.

I can’t tell you how you should react, but your daughter is bound to pick up on the increasing hostility and will notice the separation. Could you talk to your partners mum about it?

You could perhaps think about some form of family counselling, to help your partner get over what happened... blaming a young child isn’t right and will only store up bigger problems for the future.

All the best

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I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 4 weeks ago #96412

it's definstly abit of everything jealousy and resentment. she's already said she doesn't want more with my child and just to accept she comes for me and to see me that's all. so it's tricky I know if I push and push it'll end up more and more arguments which in turn she then says we only ever argue because of her. my daughter never knows of anything we say as my partner does act nice to her and does basic stuff food washing that type it's just more stuff. I'm just unsure what to do either roll over and accept itnor don't. my partner says I get her 4 days a month so what difference does it make we don't meet her mum on them days and separate it.

just so much has happend with my x and my eldest she's gone so resentful on it and given up.. talking to the mother in law wouldn't help much she's not a brilliant mother and she's only been back in contact about 2 years.

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Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 3 weeks ago #96435

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I would seriously consider counselling, such as Relate, as suggested above - I can't see that it can continue as it is now, and I think it will all deteriorate if not resolved in some way.

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Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 3 weeks ago #96442

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Your daughter is a innocent child, your current partner must be badly damaged to feel this way about her.
Hope you get it sorted cos last thing anyone would want is you being a single dad to two children.

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Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 3 weeks ago #96443

thanks for all the replys. it's never been simple between us all. moment we go together ex cause shit called social ect always stir stuff same old I don't speak to any of my family due to her and she was he'll. 2015 we went through care procceddint with our youngest due to her being injured at the hospital which opend a massive case dragged out saw her in contact eventually got on the stand and proved the hospital lied and did it got her back. but throughout that my ex still tried to make us loose it all she got my eldest who was 4 to do a abe interview and basically told her what to say. it got thrown out instantly but she wasn't meant to be told anything but ss obviously told my ex got fired then suddenly she had a interview. so she's evil when it comes to exes. but she was used as a massive weapon and even though it gone thrown out it wasn't a big help and in contact with my eldest my ex would tell her to say stuff in sessions to make it awkward and obviously ss logged everything's because they was trying to win. but yeah we won her back but I didn't get my eldest back for a year and half had to drag her to court evt that's why she has alot of resentment towards it all I think. my ex is just a massive shit stir jealous cow always trys to ruin stuff. so I do see it from her point but also I get defensive.

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Partner doesn't like my child 3 months 3 weeks ago #96446

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Your partner has had a tough time, ideally in her head life wouldn't include your daughter. Life would be bliss without her, your partner needs to realise its not your daughters fault though, it's your ex's doing.
I was in a position were life was excellent but the ex partner was disrupting it, I was at the point of walking away from my daughter it was that bad and leaving the country just to get a peaceful life for me and my family.
I was being selfish I wasn't thinking about my daughter I was thinking about me and my family. But seriously life was excellent even perfect if you removed the ex from the picture but the ex was, only in the picture due to my love for my daughter.
My choices were, carry on being a dog to the ex and making my family suffer due to it. Or walk away from my family and still be a dog with all my children unhappy. Or walk away from the ex and daughter and give one family a peaceful life.
Luckily my daughter had seen her mother controlling life etc and at 9 years old refused to return to her mother and she's been with me since April and hasn't seen her mother since then so it's all good now.

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