definatly life would be perfect if my ex would just disappear i won't leave my daughter and my partner knows that. but I think that means I have to accept there's never going to be any real bound between them as to much happend. she has tried loads of times but my ex is just a jealous horrid cow. you get the picture by the sounds of it. so it's basically trying to please everyone while keep everyone loved untill she's older. she notices alot she knows she can't see me more due to her mother and always asks me stuff. I don't even have to explain she witnesses alot of her mum saying no. it's just all been a mess from the start and to be fair it a the most stable right now it's been which is saying alot. I can only dream of the day she's older and my ex gets deleted from my life. but till then I got a court order which makes me at ease to a degree as she always use to stop then start it. and my daughter is alot older and does realise things and even her school noticed she got really bad when it got stopped.. hopefully I can just work on things and not push it as much and hopefully my partner eases into it. I'll give more and hopefully she will realise.
big congrats on having your child it makes me feel so proud of anyone who manages to get through this hell and even more when a dad does we already get looked apon as lower so big well done mate really pleased for you
It's been 9years of hell for me. Police involvement, me being arrested, having to leave the house at all hours cos the ex was threatening suicide or telling me to pick our daughter up. Imagine getting 20texts at 2in the morning and waking your wife up saying I have to go, this went on for years. My wife was supportive and said do what you gotta do. I was the one who wanted it to stop hence I was going to walk away from my daughter.
I get the picture I feel sorry for you and your daughter. Hopefully in time your partner will grow to love your daughter like her own. My wifes nature is loving she treats everyone like family.. To my annoyance at times
Can't you find a way to build their relationship like team building? Like go swimming and u stick with your other daughter so your partner has to keep your daughter safe? Or would your partner say she's your daughter u look after her?
Most women have natural maternal thing with kids regardless of if is their own, is your partner like that? If so play on that? Gotta be clever with women lol
Does your daughter like your partner? Get her drawing her love hearts and things maybe? Try things you think a strange it might work in softening your partner.
Word your daughter up and if out shopping get her to say ti want you to buy that for *your partners name*.
See it like your daughter is you , you want woo your partner. I dunno just try anything
Is there any chance of your partner and your daughter doing something together for a weekend - spa weekend or something like that? And you don't have to disguise it to them - tell them both it's a chance to get to know each other better without you there? Might just work.
actd wrote: Is there any chance of your partner and your daughter doing something together for a weekend - spa weekend or something like that? And you don't have to disguise it to them - tell them both it's a chance to get to know each other better without you there? Might just work.
That's how a bloke would do it, she'll be hearing... ey love you don't like ar kid so I want you to go on a girly weekend with her and become a nice person to her a proper step mummy not a jealous moo cos I think your bang out of order so i want to send you on a nightmare weekend with my little princess who I adore the princess who steals a few hours a week of your time, time that's yours cos you are the queen and my little princess is undeserving of my time so you want her banished (cos that's what it's basically saying and she's hearing) What's she going to do going off what the original poster has described of his partner? She'll roll her eyes give him the stare while doing that lip thing then Holy hell.
Or she'll smile a fake smile while fantasising on going and doing a hansel and gretl but without the hansel. And she'll still give him holy hell once she's finished her fantasy.
In ideal world this wouldn't be happening but this is the reality of it and I feel truly for the poster and his daughter.