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TOPIC: Access stopped

Access stopped 1 month 2 days ago #95605

  • hoo
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Hello, my ex partner and I split a few years ago and we have a son together, the agreement we had in place was i pick my son up on a Friday evening and return him to his mother on a sunday afternoon each week, i have him for atleast 2 full weeks throughout the year often more and 10 days over christmas and new year, i over pay on maintenance each month in order to keep the peace and buy any essentials he needs as extra also ensure he has a brand new uniform each September to go back to school with. Each weekend we go out and do activities of his choice and my weekend do and have always revolved around my son as they should. I have my daughter live with me who is in her 20s, she works full time and attends university, she has also always been a huge part of my son's life and will care for her brother on occasion when I work some Saturdays, she also takes him out on weekends and has taken him on holiday and we have holidays together each year as a family. My ex partner has recently stopped access to my son as she has said herself she is entitled to more maintenance for him should we not have access to him and has also stopped my daughter caring for my son as she said it does not involve her, basically it is all about money and despite sending messages of when I will collect my son i get abuse and am told I am not having him, I do not see how she can control what happens to my son when I am equally his parent, i want to go for joint custody of my son and guaranteed access has anyone else had any problems of this kind, i am looking for help and advice please

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Access stopped 1 month 1 day ago #95614

  • actd
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Hi hoo and welcome.

Unfortunately, this isn't too uncommon. The courts will not be impressed if the only reason she has stopped contact is due to finances. It may be worth considering opening a case with CMS yourself, and paying the amount they calculate only - it will cost you £20 to open the case, but after that there is no charge as you will pay by direct pay. You don't need to pay anything extra beyond this.

You also need to consider mediation as a first step to resolving this - take a look at www.nfm.org.uk

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Access stopped 1 month 23 hours ago #95622

  • Mojo
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Hi there

As actd have said, to prevent contact to increase maintenance payments isn’t acceptable, and a court would take a dim view of it.

I wouldn’t leave it too long before taking some form of action here, your child will be missing you and his sister and it’s unfair to use him in this way.

Mediation is the first step, before court action can be taken. If this fails, or she refuses to attend, the mediator will sign off the form to enable a court application. Contact a local mediation service and leave it up to them to,make contact with her, she’s less likely to ignore or refuse if the request is more official.

We have many Dads here that have taken action when contact has been stopped, as long as there are no safeguarding issues, the court will want to move contact forward and accept that it’s the child’s right to have both parents fully involved in their life.

If a solicitor is used it can be very expensive, but again many Dads have chosen to represent themselves in court, it’s doable and if that was your choice we would do what we can to advise and support you. The court fee to make an application is £215.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator

Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Access stopped 1 month 23 hours ago #95623

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Here’s a link to the child maintenance calculator, it might be helpful for you to get an idea of what you would be paying if you went through the CMS

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

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DadTalk Moderator

Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Access stopped 4 weeks 1 day ago #95655

  • Yoda
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Agree with the above. You need to get this moving quickly for your son's sake.

The agreement you had in place, was this informal or by way of a court order?

If it was a court order, you can apply straight to the court for enforcement.

If it was informal, attempt mediation as stated above and if she attends but won't agree and tries to make it about money, get the mediator to stamp the form off for you.

Mediators will gladly discuss finances and contact, however in court they are two very separate issues and a court would take an extremely dim view on cessation of contact for financial gain.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
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