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TOPIC: Son and new partner problems

Son and new partner problems 9 months 2 weeks ago #96585

Okay so i separated from sons mother. And i have my son 3-4 nights a week. The problem is that my partner of 2.5 yrs now still dont get along with my son. She is finding it hard because she sees a lot of the ex wife in him, even tho that everyone else sees me in him. I love and want a future with my partner. But can there be if son and her dont get along?

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Son and new partner problems 9 months 2 weeks ago #96586

Good morning,This is such a difficult one 3-4 nights a week is a dream amount of time to spend with your child after separation are you sure deep down your girlfriend doesn't just want more alone time with you

Now I have my son every other weekend instead of every week it's much easier for me to keep a new woman happy

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Son and new partner problems 9 months 2 weeks ago #96588

We do have date nights and time to our self . And she has been great till the last few months really.

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Son and new partner problems 9 months 2 weeks ago #96596

  • Mojo
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Hi there

I’ve got to say that I find her reason for not getting on with your child worrying and quite shallow. To be honest, she’s had 2.5 years to get used to the idea of a little person being in the mix.

You and your son come as a package and if the situation has got worse in the last few months, I can’t see it getting better by itself. If you want a long term relationship with her then I think you need to try and do something about it sooner rather than later.

Perhaps as has been said, she wants more of your time, but that would be to the detriment of your child and my opinion is that he should take priority... cutting time you spend together would be wrong and would sent the wrong message, to him and to your partner.

If another child comes along, she is likely to expect that child to take priority over your son, and as your son gets older he will become more aware of the tensions.

You might like to try couples counselling, but remember this is her issue, you and your son are not at fault here, she is the one that needs to change.

Here’s a link to Relate, they can offer family based services that could help her to get some much needed insight.

www.relate.org.uk

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Son and new partner problems 9 months 2 weeks ago #96615

  • Yoda
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I'm inclined to agree with what Mojo has said to you and that you need to address this sooner rather than later. It's good you're aware of it and want to resolve it though.

Having two children who have dealt with a difficult step parent over the years, I know how big an impact this can have on children.

Wishing you the best of luck.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
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