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TOPIC: Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility

Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96675

Hi,

Not been on for a while but I am really in need of advice.
I haven't had any contact with my 2 children for over 3 years now, due to a very controlling, manipulating ex wife after divorce and the normal mediation, solicitor, police involvement that most of us go through.
I made a conscious decision to walk away from it all in the hope of protecting my sanity and mental wellbeing.

She has since moved home, with the man she left with, and I now have no address for my children.
I used to write, call but I had to stop due to never receiving a response and my health detiorating due to the added stress.

I have a new partner and relocated myself with our stepson and we are planning our own future and family.
This may involve a substantial move in the near future and a life changing decision so to do this fairly for my children I have been researching the option of applying to court to give up voluntarily my parental responsibilities, therefor giving them a secure future without me.
I know this us not an easy decision, I am aware of the legal separation but I feel it would be the best solution all round for us all.

My main concern is I also know what my ex wife would do with such correspondence, it would be used as a poison for my children and if she refuses they will hate me forever.

As I said, this isn't easy to process and I'm asking if anyone has been through this and has any advice??

Thanks in advance

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Last Edit: by afrench108.

Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96703

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I'm not sure what you have found when researching this, but it's extremely rare for a court to agree to remove parent responsibility.

In all my years on the forum I have never come across anyone that has been successful in this... truthfully I doubt you would be successful either.

At some point in the future, when they are able, your children may want to rekindle their relationship with you, isn't it better to leave the door open a little for them?

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96714

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I agree with mojo, I've never heard of it being done, certainly voluntarily. I would ask what you would actually achieve in any case, as you would still be financially liable even without PR.

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Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96718

I haven't been through this nor know anyone who has, but after reading your post, I really just wanted reiterate what has already been said. I can totally understand where you're coming from in terms of retaining your sanity via a life completely detached from your ex, but I feel there's a couple of things to consider: will your children (who it sounds like you are very fond of) appreciate their dad not only cutting ties, but also leaving them completely with a manipulative mother, who if is hellish with you, is more than likely tough on the kids from what I can imagine; and, also, is it worth closing that door to the possibility of change, I'm not saying my situation was at all the same, but I went through 6 months without seeing my daughter because of a horrible and manipulative mother, and I became very ill, but I have to say it was worth it, and god forbid my ex should ever take my daughter away from me again, I would put myself through that hell again in a heartbeat - getting so unwell, losing handfuls of hair every day in the shower, etc - if it meant I got to see my daughter again. Another thing: if you have the slightest worry that your ex will use it to poison the kids against you, it's probably a bigger risk than it's worth, you don't deserve that, and even if you don't see your kids for years to come, they will appreciate the fact you never stopped fighting for them so much. Whatever you decide, stay strong.

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Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96721

It’s very upsetting to read the position you’re in and I feel terrible for you having to contemplate such a position like this. I would take on the advice here given by these moderators. They’ve given me a lot of advice so far and have been fantastic. It does sound intoxicating by accounts of your ex partner but one thing to remember that is no matter how she may be or to raise the children the children will always grow up to have their own mind on the matter and may want to regain contact when they’re in a position to do so and sooner than you think. I wouldn’t let your ex have it her way and destroy what could be a beautiful relationship. Keep the faith semifinalist87. God bless.

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Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 1 week ago #96789

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Update... as an illustration of how difficult this is to achieve, there have only been 2 cases where this has been granted since 1995.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 5 days ago #96849

Thanks for the replies, it's heart warming to read the comments, views and opinions of people that fully understand the situation.

I haven't considered this for any financial reduction, just for the single fact that I feel I deserve a new life, my old life doesn't exist anymore, the marriage breakdown after 10 years is dissolved, I was forced to sell the family home, that too is dissolved, I have restarted my life with those two elements, and I have been discarded as a father so after 3 years, I'm surely deservant of starting that part of my life again.

I have a letter I saved where my ex wife told me she would never ever use our children against me, I was a fantastic father and the best the children could ever have!! That sticks in my kind like a thorn but on the positive side, I always hoped the children would never forget that, and I can be the same loving, douting dad again with my new child.

Thats the main reason for wanting to start a fresh, my children deserve to be happy, if their new life is what they want, they should be allowed to move on with their new family and I feel my partner and our child deserve to be allowed to move on and have our life.

I was reading a topic from a dad who was quite right in what he wrote, having an ex is an intrusion of privacy.
They have access via maintenance to know where you live, what you earn, if you have step children or start a new family.
I have or know nothing of the same about my ex, and she left!!
How is this legal and in what an upside down world we live..

I'm just trying to seek the best solution for all, as a father both old and new, I am doing what I have always done, the best I can in the situation I'm in for my family, old and new.

Thanks to all

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Applying to court for voluntary termination of parental responsibility 7 months 5 days ago #96851

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... I think it’s important to remember that the children are the innocent party here, they have no control over the behaviour of their mother, and children in their position will often fall in line with the parent that they live with.

It’s an awful situation for you all to be in and I do hope that you will reconnect with your children one day.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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