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New to this.. 4 weeks 1 day ago #96946

please don't judge, I was very young and immature.
I had my son in 2012 with my ex partner I was very young and unstable. My son was injurned by my ex partner which to this day has caused him to have a very tough upbringing with various problems such as learning difficulties and autism. My son was taken into foster care while we both did assessments etc, I admit I could of done alot more to fight for my son I was young, drinking alot and had no job or anywhere to stay so I took the easy way out i guess, I never went to appointments etc so my ex got our son back. I went my own way as new I would never get to see my son again. Few years past and I was paying child maintaince every month. I have had contact with my ex for the past 3 years over Facebook, dropping off presents etc. I have asked her if I could see my son in her terms, she says no as the social say I am a 'risk' to my son, no one was charged on anything with what happend to my son. She also says his disabilitys would affect him dearly if I was in his life, I regret everyday for not trying hard enough to fight for my son. What options do I have? Thanks

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New to this.. 4 weeks 1 day ago #96947

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Hi there

We don’t judge here, everyone makes mistakes.

Does your child and ex still have a Social Worker assigned to them? If they do, you could try talking to them about your changed situation, your regrets and your wish to put it right.

If there is no social services involvement, you do have the option of attempting mediation as a first step, if that failed, you could then make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

Because of your long absence, it will make it more difficult, but if you can show that you are a different person now, have taken responsibility for the mistakes you made as a young and insecure person and want to be in your child’s life, there’s a chance. All you did was walk away, you didn’t harm your child, you just couldn’t cope at that time, I don’t think it’s impossible to find the way back to your child, but you will need patience as there will be many hurdles to jump first.

It might be worth contacting the Family Rights Group, they have experience of working with families that have been through the system, heres a link t their website

www.frg.org.uk

Don’t give up hope. All the best

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.

New to this.. 4 weeks 1 day ago #96948

Hi yes my ex and child still see a social worker just with extra support etc, I just I know as soon as my ex finds out that I have contacted the social worker she will stop sending me pictures, updates so on so on. Then if I can't have access then I wont find out anything about him :(
but I work, I have a long term girlfriend, own place and I'm not the young immature person I was years ago.
Thank you for replying.

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New to this.. 4 weeks 1 day ago #96949

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I can understand your reluctance to push it, but at some point, if you really want to see your child, it will require you to take action.

Speak to the mother again, tell her that you’ve taken advice and are willing to work hard to show that you have changed, ask for her to support you and give her lots of reassurance that you won’t walk away again. See if she will at least ask her Social Worker to set up a meeting between the three of you, to at least talk it through.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

New to this.. 4 weeks 1 day ago #96950

Thank you for your help, just scared thats all, one last thing if I apply for mediation and my ex doesn't want to, what would happen then?

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New to this.. 4 weeks 20 hours ago #96957

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The mediator would sign off the C100 form to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

I'd try the softly, softly approach with her, but let her know that you're not going to drop it, but it would be much better if you did it together, she could control how it's done and you would respect her wishes on that, and be prepared to take it slowly. If she continues to use the social services as a reason, ask her if it's ok for you to speak to them, or if she's worried she could arrange for you both to meet with them... give her lots of options and allow her to feel she's in control of the way it is handled... court should always be a last resort and you have made progress with her.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.

New to this.. 4 weeks 2 hours ago #96974

can I just thank you Mojo for your help, it was gratefully appriacted

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