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TOPIC: Not sure what I do next

Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97289

So basically I applied to the courts for parental responsibility and to get my name put on my daughters birth certificate as my ex partner is unwilling to add it. I have gone through the whole court system and had my final hearing in October 2018.
It is now Feb 2019 and this issue is still not resolved. My ex partner lied in court and told the judge she had sent off forms and the issue was being resolved. On this basis the judge did not issue anything as he said that the matter was concluded.
I am now hundreds of pounds out of pocket and my name is still not on the birth certificate. I wrote a letter to the court explaining the situation and received a reply saying a legal advisor had looked over the case and advised no action required as matter concluded. The legal adviser also advised me to make an application if I wish to vary the court order.

I'm sure you can understand my frustration as I feel like I am back at square one. The judge and legal system have failed me and I am unsure what my next available options are. I don't really want to have to pay another £200+ for a new application but this seems my only available option?

Just wondering if anyone could advise me on what steps I should take in regards to my current situation. I understand that if I go and see a solicitor they will just tell me to make a new application but I am very aware that solicitors don't have the best interests of fathers in these types of cases.

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Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97295

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Unfortunately, if you’ve written to the court and they have advised you to make a further application, you have no other option but to do just that, if you want to get this matter resolved. It seems unfair and I sympathise with you.

Did you use a solicitor for the previous hearings?

Are you able to communicate with the mother? Perhaps mediation might help to get this matter resolved.

You could have a solicitor write to her to advise her that she needs to conclude this matter urgently, otherwise you will be making a further application to the court and you,will be asking for a wasted cost order against her for the cost of the previous case and all other costs incurred to take it back to court.

The thought of having to pay a large sum of money might just spur her into action hopefully.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97310

I used a solicitor to help with the process regarding applications and letters etc however I represented myself in court at the hearing. My solicitor was a waste of time and money.

Communication with the mother is not possible, she is not willing to cooperate in any way and is a very nasty and vindictive person, always playing the victim.

Thanks for your help.

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Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97311

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You don’t have to go back to the same solicitor, or alternatively you could write the letter, if you write Notice Before Action, underline across the top and state that you have taken advice and expect this issue to be concluded urgently, that if you don’t hear back from her within 14 days, with notification and proof that the issue is being resolved, you will not hesitate to make an application to court and in addition, will be applying for a wasted costs order to recover all expenses to date.

It might work...But bear in mind, if you do that and she doesn’t respond, you will need to escalate it further, mediation would need to be attempted prior to making a court application, unless the mediator agrees to sign the C100 form.

To be honest, I think your case is fairly straightforward, you are more aware that leaving court without an order isn’t going to work. Perhaps the second time around you will be far more prepared and we can advise and support you... many members here have had much success without using the services of a solicitor.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97320

I agree with Mojo, writing a letter to her to explain that if she doesn't adhere to what she told the courts then you would be left with no other option but to seek further legal action and an order for wasted costs.

If you not happy with your solicitor then it may be worth finding a good MacKenzie friend for help and advice at hearings, generally a fraction of the cost of a solicitor and more family law focussed too.

If you contact a local Families Need Fathers group, or go along to a meeting they may be able to steer you in the direction of a good MacKenzie friend who can help.

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Not sure what I do next 1 year 1 week ago #97330

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Did you actually get any sort of order from the final hearing and if so, for what?

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Not sure what I do next 1 year 8 hours ago #97463

Yes I did get issued a court order to have care of my daughter 2 weekends per month however no where in the order does it mention anything about my parental responsibility application. The judge didn't issue anything on that matter and said it was concluded as my ex lied and said she had sent off the forms etc

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Not sure what I do next 5 months 1 day ago #101126

I have left this issue alone for 12 months and my name is still not on the birth certificate. I understand that I will have to reapply but I am scared that my ex will stop my contact with my daughter once I send a letter to her.
I just don't know what to do.

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Not sure what I do next 5 months 18 hours ago #101142

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I suppose the question is what benefit is there to you from getting PR and would it be outweighed by the grief you you get from your ex? The only way to get it would be to go through the court again, which is extra expense, and if your ex is being difficult about this, I can't see it's going to be worth the grief from trying.

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Not sure what I do next 5 months 11 hours ago #101150

Thanks for your reply and advice.

Basically my daughter will be 3 in February and my ex will not allow me to have my daughter overnight or take her away on holiday as she says my daughter has a sleeping issue which can only be dealt with by her. It's all lies but as my name is not on the birth certificate I cannot contact the doctor to discuss the situation with him and I fear that my ex will never allow me to be able to spend any extended amount of time with my daughter.

The ex has full control and has never been willing to co operate, making the last 2 and a half years extremely difficult. She does whatever she wants with no consequences and has now even got a new girlfreind. The easiest option is just to give up but I know my daughter is worth fighting for.

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Last Edit: by Wanderer00.

Not sure what I do next 5 months 9 hours ago #101151

hi wanderer,

i agree with you completely about fighting for your child. its worth it. you have a court order that says child stays with you overnight on alternating weekends right? if shes not allowing that then she is in breach. just fill in c79 form for enforcement. another £215 is not much of a big deal and you can self-represent. am sure plenty of dads out there spend more money on beer lol. dont bother with doctors and birth certificates.

are you paying maintenance through CMS? if so, you could deny parentage. then they can either get both parents to take DNA tests, or ask court to deal with it.

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Not sure what I do next 5 months 9 hours ago #101154

No. My ex presented a note from the doctor which was basically just information she had told him and it was game over from there. My ex said she was happy for me to have overnight access once my daughter had grown out of the issue but that was another lie.

The courts said they could not put a time limit on when I may have my daughter overnight basically implying it could be never.

When I have my daughter for the weekends I have to drop her back with my ex at 5.30pn then pick her up at 9am the next day which is absolutly ridiculous when there is absolutly nothing wrong with my daughter. My ex lied about everything and the judge believed every word she said and never once asked for any evidence. I got screwed over basically.

My ex lives in a small flat so she shares a room with my daughter and they sleep in the same bed. This is all my daughter has ever known since birth so she will never be taught to have her own room and sleep in her own bed which does not help my cause at all and my ex knows this.

I have paid maintenance directly to my ex as a mutual agreement since birth but am highly considering about stopping it.

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Last Edit: by Wanderer00.
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