• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Financially lost and need advice please?

Financially lost and need advice please? 2 months 3 weeks ago #97625

  • Jay1972
  • Jay1972's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 1
  • Thank you received: 0
Good afternoon all,

I am new to this forum and wanted to see if anyone could give me some valuable advice regarding my situation, as it is currently making me ill, depressed and stressed, so hopefully discussing it here will give me some direction to get things moving.

Firstly, my current situation - I left my wife of 18 years and family home 3 years ago, after falling in love with someone else. It was quite a nasty split, as we have a, now 11 year old daughter together.
I live in rented property with the girl I left my wife for and we are relatively happy.

I earn a decent wage and also have income from an Army pension after serving 23 years in the British Army.

My wife and daughter currently live in the family home, which we still have around £150k left on the mortgage, however, the value of the house is around the £270k mark.

At present, in order to keep my daughter accustomed to the life she is used, 3 years ago, I agreed with my wife that I would continue to pay the mortgage payments (£750ish per month) and in addition assist with child care costs to the tune of around £400-£500 per month.

My Army pension monthly payment pretty much covers the mortgage.

However, I am now in a different financial position and want to move on with my life as living in a rented property is wasted money. My wife will not allow my daughter to stay with me, as I am with, as she calls it, the woman that split the family up. I do, however, see my daughter on a regular basis.

My question is, and the advice I need is:

How do I go about not paying the full mortgage amount anymore? This would leave my wife NOT being able to willful the mortgage payments as she only works part time.
I obviously do not want my daughter to have to go in to social housing and disrupt her education by having to move school.

I am living close to the bread line myself now and never have any money for myself to have a holiday or relaxing time.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Financially lost and need advice please? 2 months 3 weeks ago #97631

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8258
  • Thank you received: 1699
Hi there

I don’t know a great deal about the financial side of things unfortunately.

Are you intending to get a divorce, this would usually be sorted out as part of the divorce settlement.

I think you would need to try and negotiate with her, perhaps offer her a larger share of the equity, although if she only works part time she may not be able to get another mortgage, in which case she’s not likely to agree.

It’s a tough situation, it might be a good idea to talk to your mortgage provider, although they won’t take you off the mortgage if she doesn’t earn enough, they may agree to a period of interest free payments.

It might also be a good idea to get some legal advice.

All the best

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Financially lost and need advice please? 2 months 2 weeks ago #97695

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10574
  • Thank you received: 1583
I agree that you need to get the divorce sorted and the financial side included in this. As a sugestion, mojo's advice of switching the mortgage to interest free might be the way forward - you could possibly do this for 7 years until your daughter is 18 at which point the house could be sold and the equity split. That would reduce your outgoings for now which might help you to move on a little.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1