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TOPIC: Advice please !

Advice please ! 3 months 3 weeks ago #97919

Hi guys i wonder if i could ask for some advice please ?

I have a non harassment order against me not to contact my ex , harass or annoy him !

But i have been made aware that my ex has provided print offs to his lawyer of myself ranting and raving about parental alienation on closed facebook support and advice sites for contact ! i also mention him as my ex on these sites ( not naming him , just referring him to him as my ex or father of my boys ) and i accuse him of being a child abuser and using parental alienation to destroy the bond between myself and my boys and being a master manipulator, etc !

Again i don't refer to him by name but as my ex and its in chats with other mothers / fathers going through the same thing !

Do you think such print offs of conversations could land me in hot water regarding the non harassment order ? i mean i did not contact him at all , i had no idea he was on these sites and he was prob using a fake profile to watch if i came on such sites then printing off what he thinks is needed ! Nothing on my part was set out to deliberately annoy him as i was never aware he would be on these sites in any way shape or form and he has been blocked from all my social online sites for years !

I know i have this order against me , but surely he is invading my right for privacy if going on sites like this searching for my name ! it doesn't feel ethical to me somehow ?!

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Last Edit: by Mojo.

Advice please ! 3 months 3 weeks ago #97923

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This is why we always try and remind posters to keep their identities anonymous. Change details and never mention names, dates or places that could link you with an ongoing court case.

What you must understand is that anyone can register to join a group. This is a public forum and guests can read posts without even registering as a member. Closed groups can be joined easily, so your personal information isn’t safe in either type of group. By joining a group, open or closed, you are in effect giving up your right to privacy.

If the screenshots are filed with court, you are likely to get a dressing down, I would apologise unreservedly for any distress caused and assure the court that you have taken down all references, no matter how anonymous, on all sites and closed your accounts.

Best of luck
The following user(s) said Thank You: EnglishRose

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

Advice please ! 3 months 3 weeks ago #97925

Thank you i really appreciate your feedback / advice !

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Advice please ! 3 months 3 weeks ago #97927

I learnt very quickly early on in my split that my ex wood stoop to the lowest depths, stalking via social media etc…
I found FB quite an easy way to vent frustrations but very quickly learnt that it was also at times quite humiliating when a very close friend responded saying that they would unfriend me if i kept ranting like i was as i sounded like a madman psychopath.
I amended my privacy settings a few months too late for one post about my ex going to get her saggy old ass handed to her in court over the latest stunt…i went in to a bit of a rant on that one and it was screenshot by one of her spies at the time and shown in court.
The judge gave me a warning about that….i did say that nothing was slanderous as it was all true and proven but he wasn’t happy with me and told me to refrain from slagging her off.

Lesson to learn is regardless of how you feel and want to just don’t do it in writing for everyone to see….go bend the ear of a mate over a tea / coffee / Gin / Prosecco or whatever you want but don’t slag them off in writing….what if one day your kids saw it!
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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Advice please ! 3 months 3 weeks ago #97928

Oh i so agree ! I mean surely sites like this are the place for venting or letting off steam regarding our situations ! threats are always to far ! but good god we are talking about our children here and what we perceive as a lot of the system letting us and them down ! Better we rant and rave on sites catered for dads and mums fighting for our kids than screaming down the phone to our ex's lol

What interests me is surely using fake accounts , or having friends snoop on our profiles or on kids rights sites , is a breach of our privacy or data protection laws ?!

Regarding my own matter of recently slating my boys father , i have an order not to contact , harass or annoy him ! .... My feelings about him and what he is doing i have let loose on support sites about recently ! You know how it is , you ask for advice and then it all snowballs from there ! a lot of it you don't mean but emotions get the better of you when you hurt badly not seeing your flesh and blood !

I feel that the order against me is about no contact directly or indirectly ! Because no way have i went onto a couple of support sites thinking he would be there waiting to pounce when i posted whatever etc Nothing i have posted was done deliberately for him to see and never would i think to contact him again !

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Last Edit: by EnglishRose.

Advice please ! 3 months 2 weeks ago #98007

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Sites like this are good for letting off steam, or getting advice as long as you do it totally anonymously, but the more you post, the more you are likely to give away your identity, or clues to it, if someone is looking for you - I have a perfect example of this in that many years ago, I was made aware of my ex posting on a public forum, and gave away enough info that it was identifiable as her (including kids names) - I used that against her when she didn't appear at a CSA tribunal and then wrote saying she hadn't been able to attend because she was ill, that was quickly dealt with as her postings showed she had travelled down for the hearing, but gone out with a friend and got too drunk to turn up.

Facebook is better if you keep your privacy settings under control and can absolutely trust your friends, but really, the best advice I can give is to keep any rants offline - rant directly to a good friend or go to a gym and have a go on a punchbag.

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