• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Cafcass going to call me. Help.

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 3 weeks 2 days ago #98000

Hi Everybody, i need some help. I've got a Cafcass
Call next week.
My story. Met my now ex at work. She wanted to get
Married, i wanted a baby. She said we could have a
baby then get married. We got together, then she
said she had hit the menopause. I said i must have a
baby. Went for IVF donor egg. Child now 18 months.

Problems with bathing issues from birth. My ex
Refusing to let baby have a bath. Big struggle.
Then feeding issues, refused to put our child onto
Cows mik at 12 months. I spoke to health visiting
Team on phone. Then 11th October she put my child
onto cows milk!!! Very happy!!! Saturday 13th
October her and her
Daughted treated my child very badly. Dumped
My child off where i work, while i was still working.
I had to get work colleages to look after my/our
child. 14th October we had an arguement, i'd had
enough, told my now ex to pack her bags and get
out. She said she would be taking my child with her.
As i raised my voice to protest, she called police
and reported me for domestic abuse!

We split up, but stayed living in same house. 16th
October she informed me that my/our child was
getting constipated, and that too much cows milk
could cause this. I checked next 24 hours, she was
Giving my child way too much cows milk. Again i
contacted health team, told them about bathing
Issues, feeding issue's and her son smoking cannabis
Near my child. They told me to report her to Social
Services. Had a meeting with the early help team.
They contacted her to interview her on 22nd
November. 19th November, she reported me for
rapeing her on the 12th October. Malicious lie.
I was now out on bail. She let me see my child.
Arranged through third party friend. Twice a week

She now tells all my friends that i raped her,
abused my child, had sex with my mother, locked
up in mental hospital in 1990's and suffer with
Mential illness. These are all malicious lies.

January: police drop rape investigation. Now she
reports me for child abuse. Refuses to let me see
my child. Social services close child abuse case.
Happy for me to see my child. She refuses. She now
has housing association property. Which i think is
what she wanted all along. Then Non mol
on me. Now take her to Family court. Date 15th April
Now says conflict of interest with my solicitor.
Says She spoke to him first! She phones police using
a false name reports that i'm suffering with acute
Mental illness and to get round to do a welfare check.
The Police woke me up!! She now has a police ref
number to use against me with Cafcass. Now found
Loads of empty pepsi max cans on the path outside
my house. She only drinks pepsi max from cans. She
Doesn't drink anything else.

Cafcass call next Wednessday. What do i tell them?
Do i try and tell them all that stuff?
Thanks for reading it all.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 3 weeks 1 day ago #98019

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10536
  • Thank you received: 1577
You need to make the meeting with cafcass about your child, and not about an ongoing dispute with your ex - obviously you need to raise any concerns with the way she may be treating your child, but don't make it about you and your ex.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 3 weeks 18 hours ago #98027

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8008
  • Thank you received: 1661
Hi there

You’ve had quite a time of it! Unfortunately, ex partners making false allegations is more common that you think, so the courts are used to hearing about it.

CAFCASS are very likely to ask you if there has been any police or social services involvement, so you should just be truthful with them. Try not to bad mouth the mother, that doesn’t mean you can’t share your concerns, but keep it reasonable and as actd says, completely child focused.

Best of luck

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 3 weeks 8 hours ago #98039

Thankyou both for your advise. She just needs to realise that we have a child together! And that we should both be focused on that. Someone needs to talk to her about that.
Why do woman do this stuff? I do hope the court will see through her. I would like to have my child come and live with me so i can give her a good childhood. It is also very important for my child to see and have a good relationship with her mum.
They should change the law somehow.

Everybody says that at best i will only see my child once a week. That is not good enough.
Because my child is donor egg, she must be told her identity when she is 7 years old. That her mum is not her natural mum.
I don't know what the future holds right now.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 2 weeks 6 days ago #98044

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8008
  • Thank you received: 1661
Am I right in saying that a woman who gives birth to a child in the UK is recognised as the legal parent? So if you become pregnant and give birth following IVF treatment, you will be the legal mother of the child.

I’m assuming you’re the biological father...Do you think she feels threatened by that fact, it could explain some of her behaviour.

Child contact once a week isn’t the best a party can hope for, some Dads here have been successful in gaining 50/50 shared care, it depends on different factors, but it’s usually best to ask for more than you would be ok with, as it gives you room to be seen to compromise.

The fall back position for a Child Arrangements Order is alternate weekends and a weekly midweek contact, but that isn’t set in stone.

Did you manage to find another solicitor? If she spoke to the solicitor first, then she is right about the conflict of interest.

It’s best to concentrate on presenting the best case you can, it doesn’t help to think,too far ahead or second guess what the other party is doing, it’s just causes more worry. Stay on course and deal with things as they arise... one steady step at a time.

All the best

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 2 weeks 6 days ago #98047

I am not an expert but I would concider doing a cross non mol on her. Now This as nothing to do with cafcass. Don't mix then up.
I would bring all those constant allegation and the fact they all been find lies and unfunded and its defamation of your character.
I would issue a non mol against her.

this is the important part
Now cafcass stay calm remain child and child focus write down what you have undergo and how much you focus on your children.
Write down that you have had concern and reported those concerned and that you walked away from someone that in your view suffer from mental health as this is not right and this isn't child focus.
Also make sure that you remain calm and don't say things that you cant prove or make the person feel its about you and her. Its about the children. What is best and how much you strive to support them and the concern.
Children is the priority and if you can highlight the concern and express that you have many proof and reported the neglect and that in your view the cafcass or children service should review this issue as soon as. But don't enter into the she said I said game. They want this as they get funding to open a case.

Now this is my view but clearly by accusing you she now used the silver bullet and have free legal aid and you are up for a good roller coaster. So keep focus and try your best to have them on your side.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Last Edit: by essexdaddy70. Reason: make it clearer

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 6 days 5 hours ago #98266

Hi, i think i did quite well with the Cafcass call. I took all the advise.
My Solicitor just keeps telling her that i called him first and that is that.
Because my ex is still raising child abuse with Cafcass, my Solicitor advised me to get a Barrister for court anyway.
The Police called me yet again. This time because my ex has reported my Mother for sex abuse towards me when i was a child. She also told the police that i have changed my name.
Both these things are again just made up fantasy's in her head.
Cafcass want a section 7 report, and to see both our medical records for mental health issues. And the sarc report. She took My Child down to have her examined. I was so so angry about that. I was being supervised since late November, and she took her down there in December. She has told Cafcass all about it, and that i had Thrush, which i caught from her! A year before my child was born! I always thourghly cleaned my self after that cleared up, so if it was Thrush it wasn't me!
The Cafcass letter also states that the Nursery have concerns about her care of my child.
There is going to be a fact finding? In a couple of months time. My Solicitor said that the Family court Judge will decide if i raped her and abused my Daughter. How can that be? The Judge will also decide if my ex is treating my Daughter badly as well.
My First court date is this Monday. It has taken weeks to get this far. Too long!! My child is being neglected and that little barstead cannabis smoking son of hers is living with my child as well. I put down about a prohibitive steps order to stop him living there.
I'm hoping for a good outcome on Monday.

Thankyou for your support.l

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Cafcass going to call me. Help. 5 days 20 hours ago #98270

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8008
  • Thank you received: 1661
Hi there

Well done on the CAFCASS telephone call. It all sounds very messy, at least you have a solicitor that can manage your case and certainly, as there are some very serious allegations being made, having legal representation is your best bet.

Your barrister will tell the court about her bizarre and untrue allegations to the police, if you can show the court that her assertions can’t be relied upon and they can discredit her in that way, that should help the judge decide in your favour as far as the rape and child abuse.

Yeast infections can happen to any girl and are not considered as sexually transmitted diseases. Whilst younger girls are less likely to get yeast infections, they can happen.

I would say concentrate on your child rather than the mother, if the authorities are concerned about your child’s care that would be an area that your barrister should highlight.

As there is to be a fact finding, a Section 7 wont be ordered until after that I wouldn’t have thought and the judge will want all the information to hand before making any final decisions. This Monday is probably all about case management, ordering further reports etc.

All the best for Monday and do drop by and let us know how you get on.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.
  • Page:
  • 1