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TOPIC: Child Maintenance - including mortgage

Child Maintenance - including mortgage 2 weeks 5 days ago #98058

Hi there - complex one this potentially -

I am a dad.
I am also transgender.

There you go.

After holding everything in for the sake of family, wife, kids etc for many years, I found out my wife had been "financially unfaithful" to put it lightly and simply. Leaving us both in serious debt and our credit rating badly damaged. Like couldn't open a bank account with a £10 Overdraft damaged.

After years of being made to feel not good enough by her and her very wealthy family, I decided I only had one life; the children were 14, 18 and 21 and could make up their own minds. My ex was making my life a living hell so I decided to follow this path.

We have been separated since September 2017. She lives in the family home with the children (One has finished uni and another has taken a year off from uni. The third is doing GCSEs and is now nearly 16).

I rent a flat near by. We agree at the time of the split that she would handle the bills and take over the paying back of the debts whilst I would pay my own rent, bills and two mortgages on the property.

The first at £220 a month directly to her was due to end Jan 2019 (missed payments I didn't know about set this back to March)
The main interest only mortgage at £290 a month directly to the company.


She asked for a nominal £119 a month Child Maintenance as she worked plus I was paying the mortgages, This was agreed.

In the intervening time she decided she wanted to pay the £220 smaller mortgage. I continued to pay her the £220 as she is far from being trusted. She then would automatically pay me back £130 and keep the rest to "top up" our 3rd child maintenance and she would pay the £220 to the mortgage people. Why??? No idea. I'm ok... I will send you £220, just do what you want as long as the mortgage is paid.

The 2nd mortgage is now complete. I cancel the Standing Order to her account. I inform her that the mortgage is complete and I am closing the SO.

Hopefully not lost anyone so far....

End of March ... wages paid to me. Text asking Where is the payment? I want £150. Ok say what now?

We had both used the Calculator and the monthly payment is over £300 and that's fine (Actually it's not fine - my child refuses to stay over and because of that I pay more - therefore it's in my ex best interests to drive a wedge between my child and I to get more money - which she does. Frequently). But she had accepted firstly £119. THEN asked to top it up with £90. Now demanding the full £300+ "I'm asking for a £150 that's all"

By my maths my confusing ex is asking for £269/month
And it should be over £300 and I'm not refusing to pay this but I do want to sit down and work it out which she is refusing to do.

I'm also paying nearly £300 on the mortgage and child maintenance pays for bills, food, clothes and shelter effectively.


So, what do I want to find out?
1) Do I just calculate my own amount using the .gov website and send that to her adding the mortgage payment on top?
2) Work out the amount and minus from it some or all of the mortgage payment I am making (My ex is nearly £300 a month better off because she doesn't pay this. Until March she was approx £520 a month better off and STILL I paid £119 maintenance).

I'm not disputing I need to pay (She seems to state all the time :rollseyes: "Are you refusing to pay the extra?") - just how much to pay.

Any help?

thanks!
Claire

*** Also a tip ***
Do not sign a contract with any in-law who wants to give you a sizeable deposit for your house that gives them 50% of the net proceeds upon sale and gives them the house if the property goes into negative equity and/or you cannot or refuse to pay for the mortgage.

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Last Edit: by BillionsOfStars.

Child Maintenance - including mortgage 2 weeks 5 days ago #98059

  • Mojo
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Hi there

Generally speaking, the calculated amount is all that the paying parent is required to pay, any extras are purely discretionary.

As far as the mortgage payments, this can be tricky if the mortgage is still in joint names, as non payment could affect credit rating.

CMS rules state that contributions made to the mortgage can only be deducted from the calculated amount if the receiving parent and children are living there and the paying parent doesn’t have any legal or equitable interest in the property.

Here’s a link to explain how child maintenance is calculated in more detail, page 37 explains the expenses that the CMS would take into account.

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/upl...hild-maintenance.pdf

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.

Child Maintenance - including mortgage 2 weeks 1 day ago #98105

  • actd
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To be honest, I think you really need to start divorce proceedings and get it all sorted out properly - it sounds a real mess at the moment. Use CMS for child maintenance and let the courts decide on the rest.

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Child Maintenance - including mortgage 2 weeks 1 day ago #98106

  • actd
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To be honest, I think you really need to start divorce proceedings and get it all sorted out properly - it sounds a real mess at the moment. Use CMS for child maintenance and let the courts decide on the rest.

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