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TOPIC: Moving back into the marital home

Moving back into the marital home 2 months 3 weeks ago #98124

Hi all,

I'd like some advice please.

My wife asked for a separation a few months ago, wanted to be amicable etc. etc. No one else was involved at that time.

I agreed to move out of our jointly-owned house as she has a more flexible work arrangement where she can be around most mornings to get the kids ready for school although they are old enough to get themselves ready and walk to school.

However, a few days after I moved out she informed me that she'd met somebody else after we split, somebody I know nothing about and is a stranger to me and the children. She deliberately kept this from me until I moved out.

I wouldn't have moved out if I'd known she had a new partner - to protect my children from even more stress of having a new man in the house when I've only just moved out. A few months down the line yes maybe but not within days of me moving out.

He's been staying overnight with my children in the house as well and playing happy families according to what my children have told me. I've asked her not to have him stay over when the kids are there but she has ignored me and become quite unreasonable about it.

I know I have the right to enter the house at any time but I don't want to jeopardise my chances of sharing parental responsibility 50:50 with my wife and an amicable separation though perhaps I'm deluding myself from what I've read so far.

Any ideas on what I can do to get back in the house without causing upset?

Thanks,

Geoff

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Last Edit: by geoffr101.

Moving back into the marital home 2 months 3 weeks ago #98127

  • HRabbit
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I think in principal you may have a right to go to the house, but pretty sure if your wife gets angry and wants you removed she could call the police and there would be a scene. And you would be removed. Its probably not worth it.

I understand your angst however and is something she should not be doing so soon, when it is raw for everyone.....

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Moving back into the marital home 2 months 3 weeks ago #98135

  • Mojo
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I can absolutely understand why you object to this other man around your children at such an early stage, nothing unreasonable about that.

However I agree with HRabbit, trying to move back in at this stage could see tensions escalate, with police involvement and a possible Non Molestation Order taken out, possibly an occupation order too.

Will you be starting divorce proceedings any time soon? If so, child arrangements can form part of the settlement.

If you’re really concerned, you could make an urgent application for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the new partner from moving in to the family home... there are no guarantees and this course of action is highly likely to cause a great deal of additional strain to your relationship with your ex.

If the children are accepting of the situation and are coping with this introduction, it might be better to go with it but make sure you are seeing plenty of them... splitting up is so hard, but the kids should be kept away from any animosity.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Moving back into the marital home 2 weeks 5 days ago #99352

Thanks for the advice.

I've not made any attempt to get back into the house for the sake of my children - I'm seeing them regularly and all seems ok considering the circumstances.

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Moving back into the marital home 2 weeks 4 days ago #99380

hi geoff,

you have to be very careful. i have read other cases, where the ex started using the kids as a weapon/bargaining chip, and saying you cant see the kids until all the house/financial matters are sorted out first.

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