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TOPIC: contact centre meets

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98157

Hi Dads
Until a couple of days ago my daughter 11 and son 15 lived with me .The mother claimed parental alienation even although the daughter saw her twice a week and she had rejected the boy . The court found in her favour after four days , how I don't know! They took the daughter straight from school to live with her leaving the boy with me . Now Im supposed to see her in a contact centre , I feel so angry I probably will not go as feel its a real insult . Shes been living with me for two years prior , at a bit of a quandry as what to do . Any advice ? or experience

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98158

  • Mojo
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Hi there

That’s just awful for you all... was this a finding of fact and a final hearing? What were your daughters wishes and did they consider the mothers alienation of the boy, and the subsequent effect on the siblings by separating them?

Was this a district judges decision or was it before magistrates?

You do have the right to appeal, if you can show that there have been procedural errors.

Sorry for all the questions, I’m just a bit shocked at this. As your daughter had regular contact with the mother, what were the grounds for the finding of PA?

As you can appreciate, it’s very difficult to give an opinion without having the details to hand... but if you are posting answers, do make sure that you maintain your anonymity, as this is an open forum.

If there’s anything you consider too sensitive to share, you can always use private messaging.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98159

she was a district judge and this was the final verdict .
Not too sure on the legal bits as represented myself. 24 hours after my little girl being taken to live with her mum shes introducing a new man to her , at this very sensitive time.

Not sure on an apeal yet. I have to go back for orders and directions next month ,whatever these are

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98160

her grounds for parental alienation were that I had cursed her in front f the children . Both children wrote letters to the judge informing her that they wanted to live with me but the judge refused them as not in the bundle

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98161

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You only have three weeks to lodge an appeal. The bits you’re going back for are the judges decision with reasons and the order itself. Was the mother represented? Were there any welfare reports done, such as a section 7?

I feel for you, your son and your little girl most of all...if you can I would try and seek some urgent legal advice. Have you had any support from anyone to help you through the court process? Maybe a McKenzie Feiend or a parent group?

If you could send me a PM with the area that you live, I might be able to recommend someone, or you can go on the Families Need Fathers website and look for a meeting near to where you live.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98162

Yes she had a barrister . No abuse except for her being violent with me and the children , but they ignored that. She employed a psychologist who said alienation and that's what seemed to have decided things. The little girl has tried to run away again today too

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98166

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Was she given permission by the court to introduce a privately funded expert into the proceedings?

I feel you may have grounds for an appeal, but I’m not legally trained and don’t have a great deal of practical experience of the appeals process. I think a lot of people are put off by the risk of having to pay the other sides costs if the appeal fails. That said, I would at least urge you to take some legal advice on this, as youretime limited.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98167

yes I gave her permission to employ a privately funded psychologist as thought it was not a problem ,we had nothing to hid fear but of course was a disaster . Now my little girl whos been with me every day has not been allowed to see me , surely this will have a detrimental effect on her . Thanks for you advice I will definitely appeal

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98169

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Trouble is you can't appeal on the decision if you think it's wrong, there has to be some procedural error, where the court departs from due process and doesn't apply the law.

To advise properly would require highly detailed knowledge of the circumstances of your case and it would be irresponsible to give opinions based on your brief synopsis... that's why I advised seeking some proper legal advice before making your mind up.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98170

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...apart from the legal side of things, I do think it would help if you attended one of the fnf meetings nearest you, if nothing more than some moral support. Some of the meetings do have solicitors present.

I wish I could be of more assistance to you, my knowledge has its limitations, not being from a legal background, I draw on my own experiences and shared experiences of the members here.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98235

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I am stunned by the fact that not only have they changed residence for your daughter, but that they've ignored her wishes at an age where she is old enough to know what is going on, and that the court has split up the two siblings - that is extremely unusual to say the least. I echo mojo's advice - get legal advice as soon as possible, at the very least, you want contact outside a contact centre. One thing I would advise is that you do go to contact otherwise you are handing more ammunition to your ex, and you will start to drive a wedge between you and your daughter - don't forget she is confused and upset by this, so needs to see you as much as possible.

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contact centre meets 2 months 2 weeks ago #98251

Thanks , it very hard to keep it together . Its so shocking , I still cannot believe the decision . The only violence in our family was done by the ex wife , she also didn't speak to the children for 8 months then this bombshell . I have ended up hating the system ,its just a joke. Anti men for sure , almost to the point where I would like to move abroad

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