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TOPIC: Child support

Child support 3 months 3 weeks ago #98533

Good evening all,

This has been on my mind for a while and wondering if anybody is in the same boat I go through long periods of not thinking about the child support I pay I just put it in and I'm fine financially but the issue that plays on my mind is even tho the money is for my child's wellbeing I can't stop thinking of his age currently(4) and how long I will be paying her for I think of all those years upto age 10 then thinking maybe 6 more years or 8 more years or even till he's 20.

I don't mind paying for my child it's more the mind games will I get to 18 having that feeling of taking off a tight shoe will my ex say sorry you must pay another 2 years till he's 20 my ex has a habbit of playing money games plus single mothers will do anything to keep the support going for as long as possible.

It's more the financial tie to her,any tips to make me not care about this too much ?

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Child support 3 months 3 weeks ago #98536

Hi,

yep im in same boat as you. waiting for dreaded letter to come in post, saying how much i will have to pay. was hilarious, as right at the start, they sent me a letter, which said they checked last years tax records and my income was £0, so I do not have to pay anything LOL. I was a good citizen and rang them to correct them :)

they way I see it, its only fair to pay for your kids maintenance. just think its stupid that if your wealthy, then your kids get thousands every month? lol as if they really need that much. there are other dads out there who pay support and dont get to even see their kids.

just look forward to spending time with your kids. and as your overnight contact increases, just ring up CMS and tell them, so you get discounts. you can also claim for extra discounts, e.g if your fuel costs over £10 a week, for picking up/dropping kids etc.

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Child support 3 months 3 weeks ago #98544

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Try and remove her from the equation... focus on the fact that you are paying to enhance your child’s quality of life.

Our lives don’t stay the same, things change, your child may end up spending more time with you, or want to live with you when they’re older.

Time may mellow your thoughts about this, we all tend to get more philosophical as we get older... Our financial ties to our kids never stop, both mine are in their mid thirties and still cost a fortune and I now have two grandsons to factor in... I’d be very rich had I been childless, but I wouldn’t change it for the world...truth is they are my world.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Child support 3 months 3 weeks ago #98546

Hello there,

Im not doing mine through CMS I do mine privately but i remember while my ex was pregnant well we split up 4 months into it and she blocked my number then 1 day out the blue she messages me "Do you realise you will be paying child support when the baby arrives" I remember the blow to the stomach I felt that day I knew all about child support because my parents split up,then I remember panicking about it doing the maths I couldn't relax at work I also had no sleep for 1 week thinking about it, she said in the message in a aggressive way "£200 roughly,What nothing to say??" My ex has bipolar so she was so hostile towards me while pregnant

But soon as he was born I got on really well with my ex we worked together and soon as I realised how costly babys are £50 a week I was giving felt very tiny,the problem is one of the side effects to a father is it creates a time clock that doesn't need to be there.

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Last Edit: by Danbruno1105.

Child support 3 months 3 weeks ago #98548

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... try and look at the positives, you have moved on from that point when she first contacted you, before the baby was born. You have managed to develop a good working relationship and have avoided the dreaded CMS.

We all have time clocks, they do change as we get older... trust me!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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