Hi all, Just to intro myself and a brief outline of my problem.
My ex is trying to control access to my child. I left her over 2 years ago as I couldn't cope with her behavior any more.
She is really manipulative and accuses me of not wanting to see my child, while refusing to let him come to me except under her strict conditions. He wants to see me and and I make myself available whenever I can. But since my new partner came on the scene 12 months ago, we have had a total breakdown of communication after she threatened my partner at her place of work and she now refuses to let me see my son at all. Counseling is out of the question as there is no reasoning with her, so I've now decided to bite the bullet and go the legal route. Trouble is, I haven't got a clue where to start. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.
sounds like a nasty situation. For legal route - First thing to do is contact a family mediator. you can arrange a video call, for under £100. tell them your situation and about your ex refusing to let you see your child. more than likely the mediator will decide that there is no point continuing mediation and they should sign a form which gives you permission to now apply to court for child arrangements.
then you should contact the personal support unit -
they are a charity. book an appointment with them, and they will sit with you and complete for form for free. There is an option to complete the form online. You can speak to PSU people and ask if they can help you do it online if its easier.
you will have to pay £215 to make this application to the court. one important thing to think about during whole process is do you want the child to just live with the mother, or do you want child to live with both/shared care? from my experience the court order states children live with mother. something like this will boost her ego and make her more annoying and hostile in future.
try get court order to state children live with both parents/shared care.
Finally got to mediation. She didn't even acknowledge the mediators letter (didn't really expect her to), so was there on my own. Explained everything and the mediator has agreed to refer it on to court. So, next step is to fill in the forms, apply for a court date and get a solicitor I guess. Can anyone recommend a good cheap solicitor (is there such a thing ) in the Manchester area they have had a good experience with ? Thanks Bill337 for getting me this far.
1. What I suggest is read these boards using Google to search them if needed. Also worth looking on the mum focused parenting sites like Mumsnet and NetMums.
2. Post questions and PM poster on here if necessary. If people don't reply immediately remember it's a marathon not a sprint. Posters as they are more impartial can help you word emails so they aren't seen as harassing her.
3. Unless you are told that or asked by her you cannot have any direct contact or any direct communication with your ex, do all correspondence with her yourself through email. In fact block her number on your phone(s) so if she rings you she is forced to leave voicemail messages. Only email her at normal times e.g. 8-8 and keep them short plus child focused.
4. If, and when she eventually claims you are harassing her, then and then only get a solicitor involved to do the communication with her. At the point you need to cease having any direct communication with her at all. Otherwise she will run to the Courts for a Non-Molestation Order, or run to the police to try and get you convicted for harrassment or assault. Once you get a solicitor involved only answer her correspondence on the Child Arrangements you want.
5. Except for your final hearing represent yourself in Court.
6. For your final hearing get a Direct Access Barrister.
I made a mistake with 3 but doing 4 remedied the situation. I hope your partner has informed the police of the threat
and glt the crime reference number even if they haven't done anything as due to my ex's behaviour where she abused a number of people I have an extensive Child Arrangements Order. My Order says children live with mother but in my case that's best because of her wanting me to do ad-hoc childcare for them at the drop of a hat. I was warned not to go for any significant changes in contact just yet and wait until my kids are old enough to decide they don't want to live with ex. My contact is one overnight a week, every other weekend and half the holidays.
Please avoid using solicitor. Too expensive. You should go on the direct access portal and search for a barrister. Also go on gov uk site for c100 form. There is option to fill in form online. See if that’s available to you. Lot easier.
If you’re going to be represented don’t bother for rhe fdrha . It’s just an administrative hearing . The court have a really good template for family matters they go through all the issues and want you want from and order etc so save your money and fill that in . For subsequent hearings depending on what your ex alleges I’d use a direct access barrister .
citydad wrote: If you’re going to be represented don’t bother for rhe fdrha . It’s just an administrative hearing . The court have a really good template for family matters they go through all the issues and want you want from and order etc so save your money and fill that in . For subsequent hearings depending on what your ex alleges I’d use a direct access barrister .
Position statement doesn’t have to be fancy and family court isn’t that formal .
My ex literally had the case number and the names of the kids and the hearing date on it .
All you need is a brief history of the issues and what you want from an order